1 00:01:14,429 --> 00:01:19,873 Look! That's ours. A tasteful three-piece bedroom suite, 2 00:01:19,872 --> 00:01:22,581 with figured walnuts. That's right. 3 00:01:22,628 --> 00:01:26,904 Just think, day after tomorrow we'll be waking up in bed. 4 00:01:26,904 --> 00:01:30,848 Herbert! Well, we're getting married, aren't we? 5 00:01:30,848 --> 00:01:34,148 I can't get over that man in the shop. Wasn't he nice? 6 00:01:34,148 --> 00:01:37,560 Fancy giving us that lovely fender fireiron and coal-scuttle. 7 00:01:37,559 --> 00:01:39,050 I hope he doesn't get into trouble. 8 00:01:39,051 --> 00:01:42,140 What's the good of them? We've got gas fire. 9 00:01:42,140 --> 00:01:44,605 Tickets please. 10 00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,615 What time do we get into Truro? 11 00:01:46,615 --> 00:01:50,558 You're due at half past ten. Change at Falvale Junction. 12 00:01:50,558 --> 00:01:52,715 Herbert? Half past ten. 13 00:01:52,744 --> 00:01:54,907 Thank you. 14 00:01:56,630 --> 00:01:59,294 I said we should have caught that earlier train. 15 00:01:59,294 --> 00:02:02,384 That furniture chap would keep on talking. 16 00:02:02,384 --> 00:02:05,272 We shall cop it from her. 17 00:02:06,752 --> 00:02:10,696 Now then, my lad. This is a railway carriage, not a playground. 18 00:02:10,696 --> 00:02:12,584 Go on. Off with you. 19 00:02:15,473 --> 00:02:18,203 This is a nonsmoker. Tickets please. 20 00:02:18,203 --> 00:02:20,497 Oh tickets. What, again? 21 00:02:20,497 --> 00:02:22,095 I haven't seen your ticket yet, madam. 22 00:02:22,096 --> 00:02:25,095 Well if you haven't, everyone else on your railway has. 23 00:02:25,612 --> 00:02:27,167 Hush, Polly. 24 00:02:27,849 --> 00:02:30,087 I've had to show it at every station we've stopped at, 25 00:02:30,087 --> 00:02:31,365 all the way from London. 26 00:02:31,366 --> 00:02:34,350 I'm sorry, madam, but we have to keep a check on travelers nowadays. 27 00:02:34,350 --> 00:02:36,480 Well, perhaps you think I'm a parachutist! 28 00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:38,291 Perhaps you would like to look at those parcels. 29 00:02:38,291 --> 00:02:39,889 See if I've got a rifle or a machine gun! 30 00:02:39,890 --> 00:02:42,234 I only want to see your ticket, madam. 31 00:02:42,234 --> 00:02:45,217 Here's my ticket... 32 00:02:45,217 --> 00:02:48,413 and here's my identification card and here's my ration book. 33 00:02:48,413 --> 00:02:51,504 And if you want my birth certificate, you'll have to ask Somerset House for it. 34 00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:53,101 Truro. Thank you, madam. 35 00:02:53,102 --> 00:02:55,446 Change at Falvale Junction. It's the next stop. 36 00:02:55,446 --> 00:02:57,437 You won't see the name on the station. 37 00:02:57,450 --> 00:03:00,581 Took a bit of a chance putting it on the ticket, didn't they? 38 00:03:30,525 --> 00:03:33,831 Hey! You! 39 00:03:36,998 --> 00:03:38,917 Yeah you! It's all right. You can go now. I got it. 40 00:03:38,918 --> 00:03:41,048 What do you think you're up to? Well, I lost me tipper. 41 00:03:41,048 --> 00:03:42,646 You can't do that. Can't do what? 42 00:03:42,646 --> 00:03:44,244 Stop the train just to pick up your hat. 43 00:03:44,245 --> 00:03:45,842 Well, I stopped it. Don't be silly. 44 00:03:45,842 --> 00:03:50,952 Here, tell you what I'll do. There you are. I started it again. 45 00:03:51,701 --> 00:03:54,813 Give me that! All right. Give me a buck up. 46 00:03:57,775 --> 00:04:00,108 I wish you'd cut your nails. 47 00:04:04,652 --> 00:04:06,814 Oh, hello. 48 00:04:07,897 --> 00:04:11,008 That chap's got a nerve, dropping his hat out. 49 00:04:13,118 --> 00:04:16,711 I say, what's happened? She's smiling. 50 00:04:16,711 --> 00:04:19,832 What? Eh? I mean the train. Why did it stop? 51 00:04:19,832 --> 00:04:22,380 Oh, some fool's hat fell off. He pulled the cord. 52 00:04:22,381 --> 00:04:25,944 Oh, bless my soul. Good gracious. 53 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:38,619 Come back here! I want your name and address. 54 00:04:38,619 --> 00:04:40,395 Here now. What's all the trouble? 55 00:04:40,395 --> 00:04:42,633 No trouble at all. I've got it now. Thank you. 56 00:04:42,634 --> 00:04:44,977 Pulled the communication cord and stopped the train to get his hat! 57 00:04:44,977 --> 00:04:46,042 Did you get his name and address? 58 00:04:46,043 --> 00:04:47,338 That’s what I'm trying to get. 59 00:04:47,348 --> 00:04:50,542 Now sir... Now where the...? 60 00:04:52,754 --> 00:04:55,643 Come on! Out of there! 61 00:04:56,270 --> 00:04:58,082 Come on... Come...! 62 00:04:58,083 --> 00:05:00,960 Hello. You still here? I was having a wipe. 63 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:02,557 This pop-pop's filthy. 64 00:05:02,557 --> 00:05:04,475 Now sir... All right. I'll handle this. 65 00:05:04,476 --> 00:05:05,434 Thank you. 66 00:05:05,434 --> 00:05:08,844 Are you going to give me your name and address or are you not? 67 00:05:08,844 --> 00:05:10,549 My name and address... Well, uh.. 68 00:05:10,550 --> 00:05:12,787 Actually, I'm travelling incog... 69 00:05:12,787 --> 00:05:16,303 But that's me, Tommy Gander, comedian and entertainer. 70 00:05:16,303 --> 00:05:18,007 Now what's the address? 71 00:05:18,007 --> 00:05:20,884 For the next 16 weeks, I'll be at the Pier Pavilion, Newquay. 72 00:05:20,884 --> 00:05:22,588 16 weeks. Yes. 73 00:05:22,589 --> 00:05:24,400 Well, we'll see how I go on Monday night. 74 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:26,957 You know, this will mean a prosecution of 5-5-5, sir. 75 00:05:26,957 --> 00:05:30,845 What for? I can't understand what all this fuss is about! 76 00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:34,096 You've stopped the train. Well, it was only a little stop. 77 00:05:34,096 --> 00:05:36,199 Besides, nobody minded. 78 00:05:36,233 --> 00:05:39,103 Did any one here mind me stopping the train for a few minutes? 79 00:05:39,103 --> 00:05:40,880 "No." 80 00:05:40,914 --> 00:05:42,300 We'll try another one... 81 00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:43,578 Did anybody here... 82 00:05:43,579 --> 00:05:45,709 Now look here, you better get back to your compartment. 83 00:05:45,709 --> 00:05:48,800 This is my compartment. Thanks ever so for seeing me home. 84 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:51,799 Sir, if you wouldn't behave like this, I ... 85 00:05:54,339 --> 00:05:56,897 You know, I don't think this was your carriage. 86 00:05:56,897 --> 00:05:58,495 Wasn't it? 87 00:05:58,496 --> 00:06:01,159 Trouble is, they all look so much alike. 88 00:06:01,159 --> 00:06:04,250 If one only had a different color scheme in each compartment, 89 00:06:04,250 --> 00:06:07,659 one could tell which was one's own compartment. 90 00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:09,470 Excuse me, is this gentleman annoying you? 91 00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:11,494 Who? Me? I wasn't talking to you, little man. 92 00:06:11,495 --> 00:06:12,986 Anyway, this is a first-class carriage. 93 00:06:12,986 --> 00:06:15,543 Well what about it? Well I bet you bill a third-class ticket. 94 00:06:15,543 --> 00:06:18,313 I have not! I've got a platform ticket. 95 00:06:18,313 --> 00:06:19,874 Is he a friend of yours? 96 00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:22,255 I never saw either of you before in my life. 97 00:06:22,255 --> 00:06:24,386 As I thought! You don't even know the lady. 98 00:06:24,386 --> 00:06:27,583 You forced your way into her compartment and caused everyone a lot of annoyance. 99 00:06:27,583 --> 00:06:30,353 Now run along to your own carriage before I call the guard. 100 00:06:30,353 --> 00:06:33,336 Here, let's be fair. After all, this isn't your carriage EYE-ther. 101 00:06:33,336 --> 00:06:35,366 EE-ther! ... EYE-ther! ... EE-ther! 102 00:06:35,388 --> 00:06:37,812 Let's ask the lady. It's a good idea. 103 00:06:37,812 --> 00:06:41,922 Is it EYE-ther or EE-ther? N-EYE-ther! ... N-EE-ther! 104 00:06:42,606 --> 00:06:44,737 What's this? Good afternoon. 105 00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:48,292 Who are these people? I haven't the slightest idea! 106 00:06:48,466 --> 00:06:51,023 Is your name Winthrop? Yes. 107 00:06:51,024 --> 00:06:53,475 R.G. Winthrop? Yes. 108 00:06:53,475 --> 00:06:55,818 In that case, this is your bag. 109 00:06:55,818 --> 00:06:59,441 Oh, and here's your coat. And here's your scarf. 110 00:06:59,441 --> 00:07:01,998 And here's your book. Oh we mustn't lose the place. 111 00:07:01,998 --> 00:07:04,775 There you are. What are you two playing at? 112 00:07:06,581 --> 00:07:10,310 One moment. Winthrop, R.G. 113 00:07:10,309 --> 00:07:12,866 Aren't you the all-rounder that played to the MCC? 114 00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:14,996 Yes, as a matter of fact, I am! 115 00:07:14,997 --> 00:07:18,253 Oh isn't that wonderful. I only need you to complete my set. 116 00:07:18,253 --> 00:07:21,603 Set? Yes, cigarette cards. 50 famous cricketers. 117 00:07:21,603 --> 00:07:22,988 What are you two doing in here? 118 00:07:22,988 --> 00:07:24,373 Well, he lost his hat. 119 00:07:24,374 --> 00:07:26,718 Oh, so you're the idiot who stopped the train. 120 00:07:26,718 --> 00:07:28,955 Yes, I don't know my own strength! 121 00:07:28,955 --> 00:07:31,512 My time happens to be valuable, even if yours isn't. 122 00:07:31,512 --> 00:07:34,495 Now perhaps you'll be good enough to move out of here before I lose my temper. 123 00:07:34,495 --> 00:07:36,732 Oh yes. One minute... 124 00:07:36,733 --> 00:07:39,504 If I remember rightly, you were a boxing blow as well. 125 00:07:39,504 --> 00:07:42,167 Yes, I was! 126 00:07:42,167 --> 00:07:46,323 You mean you used to fight.... knock down... all the... 127 00:07:46,322 --> 00:07:48,879 Oh, well, circumstances alter cases. 128 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:52,183 Good bye all. Good bye. 129 00:07:52,183 --> 00:07:55,486 We'd better be getting our things together. We'll soon be at Falvale. 130 00:07:55,485 --> 00:07:58,469 Oh you're changing at Falvale? So am I. Is that a coincidence? 131 00:07:58,469 --> 00:08:00,706 Are you going to Newquay? No we are not! 132 00:08:00,707 --> 00:08:02,731 Oh. Well if you do, must come and see me. 133 00:08:02,731 --> 00:08:04,116 I'm in the concert party there. 134 00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:06,887 My name's Tommy Gander, and if you give that to the manager, 135 00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:08,378 he'll give you a row seats to yourself. 136 00:08:08,378 --> 00:08:10,508 Are you going to get out? Or do I have to throw you out? 137 00:08:10,509 --> 00:08:12,107 Oh Richard, does this... Leave this to me! 138 00:08:12,107 --> 00:08:14,550 Get out! And stay out! 139 00:08:17,647 --> 00:08:20,631 I don't like strange men trying to scrape up an acquaintance with you. 140 00:08:20,631 --> 00:08:24,185 Oh don't be silly, Richard. You sound like something out of East Men! 141 00:08:32,694 --> 00:08:38,318 Pick up my hat. Cause of all the trouble. 142 00:08:38,317 --> 00:08:40,094 Uh hmm! 143 00:08:41,304 --> 00:08:43,855 See you at Falvale. 144 00:09:46,209 --> 00:09:50,909 Oh, go away! 145 00:10:35,154 --> 00:10:38,505 Falvale. Train for Truro. 146 00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:41,807 Falvale. Train for Truro. Wake up! Look alive! 147 00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:45,430 Well ever the fun thinks, the worst of the journey's over now. 148 00:10:45,430 --> 00:10:48,414 Yes I know, but half past ten! 149 00:10:48,414 --> 00:10:51,191 What's she going to say to that? I'd like to know. 150 00:10:55,125 --> 00:10:57,684 I'll take the lady's bag... ...keep them all together... 151 00:10:57,684 --> 00:10:59,708 ...You take that one... ...uh, I'll take... 152 00:10:59,708 --> 00:11:01,198 Can I have... 153 00:11:01,199 --> 00:11:04,822 I'll show the lady! Here! What do you think you're doing? 154 00:11:04,821 --> 00:11:06,739 Okay. Excuse me! 155 00:11:06,740 --> 00:11:08,977 When the connection arrives, it's sure to be crowded. 156 00:11:08,977 --> 00:11:11,428 Wouldn't it be a good idea if you were to come in my compartment... 157 00:11:11,428 --> 00:11:12,492 ...you and your brother? 158 00:11:12,493 --> 00:11:14,517 The lady and her brother are traveling first-class. 159 00:11:14,517 --> 00:11:17,607 Besides, he doesn't like you. Oh, a lot of people don't like me at first. 160 00:11:17,607 --> 00:11:19,524 But you'd be surprised how I grow on one. 161 00:11:19,525 --> 00:11:21,230 Even your brother might learn to care. 162 00:11:21,230 --> 00:11:23,574 Yes, I'm sure he would. But he's not my brother! 163 00:11:23,574 --> 00:11:26,558 Oh... I know, he's your father! 164 00:11:26,558 --> 00:11:28,475 I say, are these fellows annoying you again? 165 00:11:28,476 --> 00:11:31,111 Good afternoon. Sorry, Dad! 166 00:11:31,111 --> 00:11:32,473 Cheek! 167 00:11:35,054 --> 00:11:41,689 Guard! Guard! Open this door at once! 168 00:11:41,688 --> 00:11:43,712 Oh, I'm locked in! 169 00:11:43,713 --> 00:11:47,655 The door's further along, madam. That's just a window! 170 00:11:47,654 --> 00:11:50,542 Oh, thank you. The idea! 171 00:11:57,775 --> 00:12:00,120 Allow me, madam. Can I take your parcels? 172 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:03,529 I'll take the aviary. Thank you. 173 00:12:03,529 --> 00:12:08,816 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8... 174 00:12:08,815 --> 00:12:11,521 And my dust mask. Thank you. 175 00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:14,185 I'm going to see my decorated leases, you know. 176 00:12:14,185 --> 00:12:16,635 How nice. And staying on one of those farms. 177 00:12:16,635 --> 00:12:20,564 I'm taking them bacterinates from London in case they can't get them down there. 178 00:12:20,564 --> 00:12:23,882 Like rhinos. Very nice. Have some? 179 00:12:23,881 --> 00:12:27,880 Well that's Polly's! So... He won't mind, will she? 180 00:12:29,101 --> 00:12:33,101 Oh! Hey, wait a minute! I've left my basket in the guard van. 181 00:12:35,453 --> 00:12:40,076 Hey! I want my basket. It's in the van. No it isn't. I threw it out on the platform. 182 00:12:40,075 --> 00:12:42,420 Threw it out? You'll be hearing from my solicitor. 183 00:12:42,420 --> 00:12:44,018 You'll be hearing from the company! 184 00:12:44,019 --> 00:12:45,509 I'll tell my mum of you! 185 00:12:45,509 --> 00:12:48,508 Ah choo... Ah guh chuh! 186 00:12:55,073 --> 00:12:59,788 Dead and alive for the whole of this. Where is everybody? 187 00:12:59,788 --> 00:13:02,454 Hello! 188 00:13:03,941 --> 00:13:08,631 Hello! Hello! 189 00:13:08,631 --> 00:13:10,630 Anybody? 190 00:13:14,596 --> 00:13:16,930 Porter? 191 00:13:21,309 --> 00:13:23,532 Anybody home? 192 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:29,093 There's no one around there. Here's someone. 193 00:13:30,366 --> 00:13:33,921 Ah, about time too! 194 00:13:35,799 --> 00:13:37,611 When does our connection for Truro come in? 195 00:13:37,611 --> 00:13:39,636 Come in? It be gone quarter of an hour ago! 196 00:13:39,637 --> 00:13:42,194 Oh blast! When's the next one? There aren't no next. 197 00:13:42,194 --> 00:13:44,324 There's no more trains through here tonight. 198 00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:46,029 I be just going to lockup 199 00:13:46,030 --> 00:13:50,399 Oh, ah Porter, when's the Truro train coming? 200 00:13:50,398 --> 00:13:54,234 Just in about nine hours, ma'am. What? 201 00:13:54,234 --> 00:13:57,217 I'm afraid our train was too late. The connection went without us. 202 00:13:57,217 --> 00:13:58,945 And do you know why it was so late? 203 00:13:58,965 --> 00:14:02,651 Our comic friend with his comic hat! Oh! 204 00:14:02,651 --> 00:14:04,888 Hey you! What's his confounded name? 205 00:14:04,888 --> 00:14:08,665 Mr. Gander. Gander, come here! 206 00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:13,731 Most intelligent basket, that! You know, it seems to know me. 207 00:14:13,731 --> 00:14:15,329 Whenever I go near it, it creaks. 208 00:14:15,330 --> 00:14:16,714 As you got us into this mess, 209 00:14:16,714 --> 00:14:18,632 perhaps you can think of some way of getting us out of it. 210 00:14:18,633 --> 00:14:20,018 Out of what? 211 00:14:20,018 --> 00:14:22,149 Owing to your idiocy, we've missed the connection! 212 00:14:22,150 --> 00:14:25,346 Yes! And what's more, there's no train for nine hours! 213 00:14:25,346 --> 00:14:27,475 Nine hours. That'll be tomorrow, won't it. 214 00:14:27,475 --> 00:14:30,140 I've got to rehearse at Newquay at half past ten. 215 00:14:30,140 --> 00:14:32,164 You should have thought of that before you stopped the train. 216 00:14:32,164 --> 00:14:35,681 Oh, I know. We charter a special. 217 00:14:35,681 --> 00:14:37,598 Special indeed! And who's gonna pay for that? 218 00:14:37,599 --> 00:14:39,251 Well, they can take it out of the money I owe them. 219 00:14:39,251 --> 00:14:41,647 In for a fiver, in for a special! That's me! 220 00:14:41,647 --> 00:14:45,057 Excuse me old man, you... You'll get no specials here. 221 00:14:45,057 --> 00:14:46,548 I could drop the form 6-4... 222 00:14:46,549 --> 00:14:49,319 You mean to tell me we can't get to Truro tonight? 223 00:14:49,319 --> 00:14:51,555 Aye. Leastways not by train. 224 00:14:51,555 --> 00:14:54,113 Doesn't bear thinking about, does it, Herbert? 225 00:14:54,113 --> 00:14:55,284 Drive? 226 00:14:55,285 --> 00:14:58,268 I suppose that applies to Red Roofs too, eh? 227 00:14:58,268 --> 00:15:00,506 No more trains tonight! Nowhere! 228 00:15:00,506 --> 00:15:04,838 But I'm expected at Red Roofs. I promised Dr. Hariby... 229 00:15:06,578 --> 00:15:09,243 Well of all the quaint places... Oh, hello. 230 00:15:09,243 --> 00:15:11,353 Where does that line on the other side go to? 231 00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:16,487 It don't go nowhere. Oh, it don't go nowhere. 232 00:15:16,487 --> 00:15:20,376 He means it stays where it is! Ha ha ha! 233 00:15:24,585 --> 00:15:26,823 Hello... Oh lovely! 234 00:15:26,823 --> 00:15:29,700 This is real concert party weather! This will send them in. 235 00:15:29,701 --> 00:15:34,496 Good gracious! Can't stand here and get soaked, eh? 236 00:15:34,495 --> 00:15:37,494 He could stand anywhere and get soaked! 237 00:15:40,462 --> 00:15:43,684 Pardon me... 238 00:15:55,378 --> 00:15:57,616 Cozy little place, isn't it? 239 00:15:57,616 --> 00:16:01,171 Well, if this is the Cornish Riviera, give me Camberwell. 240 00:16:01,558 --> 00:16:03,669 It's gloomy, isn't it? 241 00:16:14,450 --> 00:16:18,607 So this is the Ritz-Carlton! Oh, allow me. 242 00:16:18,606 --> 00:16:21,163 There you are. What the devil are you doing? 243 00:16:21,164 --> 00:16:23,507 I was putting it on! Oh. 244 00:16:23,507 --> 00:16:25,951 Young man, you ought to be ashamed of yourself! 245 00:16:26,383 --> 00:16:30,860 Am I popular! Hello, Polly! Polly! 246 00:16:30,859 --> 00:16:34,375 Will you talk to me? Polly. Polly Wantamore. 247 00:16:34,375 --> 00:16:38,956 No? Sketch a Poll. Pretty Poll. There's a Polly. 248 00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:40,768 There's a lovely girl. 249 00:16:40,768 --> 00:16:43,325 Are you one of the parrots of Wimpole Street? 250 00:16:43,325 --> 00:16:45,562 Oh, don't do that! Not with company about! 251 00:16:45,563 --> 00:16:47,907 There she is! There's a girl. 252 00:16:47,907 --> 00:16:50,465 I say, I wonder if I could teach you to talk? 253 00:16:50,465 --> 00:16:52,062 I wonder if you could say Heil Hitler? 254 00:16:52,062 --> 00:16:55,151 Eh? No. Not with a beak like that. 255 00:16:55,151 --> 00:16:57,150 Don't listen to him, Polly. 256 00:16:58,136 --> 00:17:01,546 You ladies and gentlemen be ready? I'd like to lock up now. 257 00:17:01,545 --> 00:17:03,675 Lock up? You're not going to turn us out in this! 258 00:17:03,676 --> 00:17:07,193 No! Why should I catch old-monia? I've had new-monia, you know! 259 00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:09,004 Ha ha. Ha ha. That was witty! 260 00:17:09,004 --> 00:17:10,708 You can't stay here! 261 00:17:10,708 --> 00:17:14,484 No? Well I'm going to surprise you for a start. 262 00:17:17,314 --> 00:17:18,805 We're all staying! 263 00:17:18,806 --> 00:17:21,257 The railway company has taken our money and it's got to play the game! 264 00:17:21,257 --> 00:17:22,961 Yes! Even on a sticky wicket! 265 00:17:22,961 --> 00:17:26,158 But Richard, if there aren't any more trains... then he'll have to get us a bus or something! 266 00:17:26,158 --> 00:17:27,329 That's right! Give me a number 6. 267 00:17:27,330 --> 00:17:28,501 I've got some friends who live in Hackney. 268 00:17:28,502 --> 00:17:30,207 All fares ready. No standing on top. 269 00:17:30,207 --> 00:17:32,764 Oh shut up! I'm not traveling in any bus. 270 00:17:32,764 --> 00:17:34,788 I paid to go all the way by train. 271 00:17:34,788 --> 00:17:37,344 Besides, Polly hates the smell of petrol. 272 00:17:37,345 --> 00:17:41,443 Pretty Polly, don't you? There must be some way, hmm? 273 00:17:41,442 --> 00:17:44,164 Dr. Hariby of Red Roofs is expecting me. 274 00:17:44,164 --> 00:17:47,467 I'm going there as his locum. And he's leaving on holiday tonight. 275 00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:50,663 You see, you must do something. We've got to get there tonight, haven't we, Herbert? 276 00:17:50,663 --> 00:17:54,713 That's right. For one thing, the ceremony is in the morning. 277 00:17:54,713 --> 00:17:58,335 Ceremony? Oh, you mean a family bereavement? 278 00:17:58,335 --> 00:18:02,811 Oh no. Herbert means we're getting married. That's right. 279 00:18:02,810 --> 00:18:06,433 Oh! Cut myself a piece of wedding cake! Isn't that marvelous. 280 00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:09,416 I must kiss the bride! Oh, wrong lady. Excuse me. 281 00:18:09,416 --> 00:18:11,440 Speech! Speech! Must have a speech. 282 00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:14,104 I hope you'll be very happy. So do I. Same here. 283 00:18:14,105 --> 00:18:17,195 First the girl and then the boy... Oh be quiet. 284 00:18:17,195 --> 00:18:20,178 Look, this isn't much of a place to spend your last bachelor hours. 285 00:18:20,178 --> 00:18:21,776 Oh I don't know. I've slept in worse. 286 00:18:21,776 --> 00:18:23,800 You ought to see my Anderson shelter. 287 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:25,078 I think I better get down. 288 00:18:25,079 --> 00:18:27,423 Cover the latest talk with a nice cup of tea. 289 00:18:27,423 --> 00:18:30,406 Shut up there, auntie. Good night all. 290 00:18:30,406 --> 00:18:33,069 There'll be no sleeping here. 291 00:18:33,069 --> 00:18:35,733 The last train's gone, and I gotta lock up. 292 00:18:35,734 --> 00:18:38,398 You can't stay here. I've had enough of this nonsense! 293 00:18:38,398 --> 00:18:40,209 The least you can do is to ring up a garage 294 00:18:40,209 --> 00:18:42,446 and get us some sort of a conveyance to the nearest village. 295 00:18:42,446 --> 00:18:44,044 And we are staying here until you do! 296 00:18:44,045 --> 00:18:47,453 Yes sir. Surely there must be a hostelry somewhere. 297 00:18:47,453 --> 00:18:49,585 He means a boozer! 298 00:18:49,585 --> 00:18:54,807 All right. I'll try. It won't be no good, I tell you! 299 00:18:54,806 --> 00:18:55,764 I'll come with you. 300 00:18:55,765 --> 00:18:57,653 Passengers must cross by the footbridge. 301 00:18:58,747 --> 00:19:01,305 You stay where you are! You're a menace! 302 00:19:01,305 --> 00:19:03,542 And the next time you drop your hat out of the window, 303 00:19:03,542 --> 00:19:05,353 I hope you forget to take it off! 304 00:19:05,354 --> 00:19:07,575 You will rue every word you said! 305 00:19:09,615 --> 00:19:11,747 Unfrocked! 306 00:19:11,748 --> 00:19:19,739 ♪ La la la la dee dee dee dee ha ♪ 307 00:19:19,737 --> 00:19:22,515 I wonder if it stopped raining? I'll have a look. 308 00:19:25,917 --> 00:19:28,250 Ooh! What is it? 309 00:19:30,073 --> 00:19:32,406 My basket! 310 00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:37,396 Half-wit! 311 00:19:37,850 --> 00:19:43,606 Edna, you know what this means, don't you? 312 00:19:43,605 --> 00:19:48,294 We'll have to be together all night. Yes, Herbert. 313 00:19:48,294 --> 00:19:54,794 Before we're married, right? There is six other people with us, Herbert. 314 00:19:54,793 --> 00:19:59,482 She wouldn't believe it, not if we said there was sixty. 315 00:19:59,481 --> 00:20:04,062 Would she? No, Herbert. 316 00:20:04,062 --> 00:20:08,432 Edna, who's going to face her in the morning? You, Herbert. 317 00:20:08,431 --> 00:20:12,693 But why should I? After all, she's your mother. 318 00:20:12,693 --> 00:20:16,470 She'll be your mother too, tomorrow night, Herbert. 319 00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:18,986 That's right. 320 00:20:18,987 --> 00:20:22,282 Hello. This be Saul Hodgkin up at station. 321 00:20:22,282 --> 00:20:24,856 I got eight passengers here. 322 00:20:24,867 --> 00:20:27,716 Yes, they missed the Truro connection. 323 00:20:27,716 --> 00:20:29,953 Oh I know, but what am I going to do with them? 324 00:20:29,953 --> 00:20:31,871 They want you to send a bus for them. 325 00:20:31,871 --> 00:20:36,870 Yes but... Hello... 326 00:20:37,625 --> 00:20:41,569 Well, what's the verdict? Do we get a bus? 327 00:20:41,568 --> 00:20:43,058 I said it wouldn't be no good. 328 00:20:43,059 --> 00:20:44,657 But I tell you what, 329 00:20:44,657 --> 00:20:48,600 if you would all walk across to Falvillage, might be they'd put you up at the pub. 330 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:52,649 Splendid day! I always say there are worst places than pubs, eh? 331 00:20:52,649 --> 00:20:54,886 Why didn't you tell us that before? 332 00:20:54,886 --> 00:20:56,590 It's all right people. I fixed everything. 333 00:20:56,590 --> 00:20:58,721 There's no bus, but if we walk down to Falvillage, 334 00:20:58,722 --> 00:21:00,533 they'll wine us and dine us and put us to bed. 335 00:21:00,533 --> 00:21:02,643 Oh good! Lovely! 336 00:21:03,515 --> 00:21:05,462 It's worth a dash through the rain for a night's rest. 337 00:21:05,462 --> 00:21:07,778 Just a minute, How far is this village? 338 00:21:07,779 --> 00:21:11,295 Oh it's about... um... I don't know. How far is it? 339 00:21:11,294 --> 00:21:16,560 Oh, if you walk across the fields, there's only four short miles. 340 00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:19,818 Four short what?! Four miles - in this? 341 00:21:19,818 --> 00:21:23,868 Oh, I wouldn't dream of it! Are we in the middle of a moat? 342 00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:26,530 Surely there's some place nearer than Falvillage. 343 00:21:26,530 --> 00:21:29,196 That be the only place within ten mile of here. 344 00:21:30,046 --> 00:21:33,378 Hey, what do you think you're doing? Come on! Give me a hand with it. 345 00:21:36,226 --> 00:21:38,570 I forgot all about my tisket-a-tasket. 346 00:21:38,571 --> 00:21:41,235 I do hope my tutu's not ruined. 347 00:21:41,235 --> 00:21:43,365 Now don’t do that! You'll have puddles all over the floor. 348 00:21:43,365 --> 00:21:45,176 Well, I'm soaking wet. I've got to change. 349 00:21:45,176 --> 00:21:47,307 Here's another thing you can't do: you can't change here. 350 00:21:47,308 --> 00:21:49,652 Well that's a funny thing. The guard said we must all change here. 351 00:21:49,652 --> 00:21:54,206 Oh, go and change in the ticket office. All right. Come on, you basket. 352 00:21:57,215 --> 00:22:02,215 Don't be you long. No peeping! 353 00:22:02,969 --> 00:22:06,379 Well, we're gonna stay here all night, so we might as well make ourselves comfortable. 354 00:22:06,378 --> 00:22:10,641 Thank you. Don't you lite that fire. 355 00:22:10,641 --> 00:22:14,585 Now listen, my good man, you've said your peace, so jump on your bicycle and pedal off! 356 00:22:14,585 --> 00:22:20,019 I got my orders and I got to obey 'em. You can't stay here! 357 00:22:20,018 --> 00:22:23,641 And uh, who's going to stop us? I be! 358 00:22:23,641 --> 00:22:27,583 What are you gonna do? Throw us out? Well, I suppose I'll have to. 359 00:22:27,582 --> 00:22:30,459 In that case, you can start on me. And me! 360 00:22:30,460 --> 00:22:33,550 Don't you lay your hands on me! Gentlemen! Gentlemen! 361 00:22:33,550 --> 00:22:36,533 I do wish you'd hush! Polly wants to go to bed. 362 00:22:36,533 --> 00:22:39,197 We are staying here whether you like it or not, understand? 363 00:22:39,197 --> 00:22:42,926 I can't leave the station with you people here! 364 00:22:42,925 --> 00:22:45,696 Then you'll have to stay here with us. No! That I won't! 365 00:22:45,697 --> 00:22:48,040 Why? What's the matter with it? Apart from everything? 366 00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:51,706 Anyone would think from the way you're going on, the place was haunted! 367 00:22:52,407 --> 00:22:57,204 It is haunted! Oh my god! 368 00:22:57,204 --> 00:23:02,870 Oh, Herbert! Oooo... 369 00:23:15,529 --> 00:23:19,640 My next, Napoleon! 370 00:23:20,182 --> 00:23:25,972 Haunted? What are you trying to do? Scare us out of here? 371 00:23:25,971 --> 00:23:30,660 It be haunted, all right! You won't find any in these parts that would stay here! 372 00:23:30,660 --> 00:23:33,324 Especially tonight. 373 00:23:33,324 --> 00:23:37,211 Well, as we've decided to stay the night, you'd better let us know what to expect. 374 00:23:38,010 --> 00:23:42,593 There's no story for ladies here. Well off that, we've got to hear it. 375 00:23:42,593 --> 00:23:45,576 Yeah, come on. Spill it! We want something to entertain us! 376 00:23:45,576 --> 00:23:50,464 Entertain ya? Powers above! Oh come on! Do tell us! 377 00:23:56,762 --> 00:24:02,092 Very well. But I warned you. There's no pretty story. 378 00:24:02,091 --> 00:24:05,201 Maybe when you've heard it, you'll change your mind about staying! 379 00:24:06,458 --> 00:24:09,791 Will you keep that confounded bird quiet?! 380 00:24:09,906 --> 00:24:14,238 It was the time of the diamond jubilee. 43 year ago this very night! 381 00:24:14,237 --> 00:24:18,818 In them days, the stationmaster here was a man by the name of Ted Holmes. 382 00:24:18,818 --> 00:24:22,336 You was asking about the old line it runs on the other side. 383 00:24:22,336 --> 00:24:24,253 You mean the one that don't go no where. 384 00:24:24,253 --> 00:24:26,915 Aye, but in them days, the trains used to run on it. 385 00:24:26,915 --> 00:24:29,367 Through yonder short tunnel down to the old port. 386 00:24:29,368 --> 00:24:33,097 The other side of the tunnel, the line bridges the river. 387 00:24:33,096 --> 00:24:37,873 It be a swing bridge worked by a lever wheel out there on the platform. 388 00:24:38,530 --> 00:24:40,129 This was the bridge. 389 00:24:40,129 --> 00:24:44,604 In '97 it was always left open for the Claire boats to go out on the tide. 390 00:24:44,604 --> 00:24:47,053 And they closed it when the trains were to come. 391 00:24:47,053 --> 00:24:53,720 But no train ever runs over that bridge now. And it bent been closed for 43 years. 392 00:24:53,979 --> 00:24:55,897 And the day I be telling you about, 393 00:24:55,898 --> 00:24:59,308 a party of some plants folk went to a bean feast up at Truro. 394 00:24:59,308 --> 00:25:02,078 And they chartered a special to take 'em home late that night. 395 00:25:02,078 --> 00:25:04,316 Ben Isaacs was the driver of that special. 396 00:25:04,316 --> 00:25:07,938 But Ted Homes was kept on late duty here to close the bridge. 397 00:25:07,938 --> 00:25:11,454 He was a sick man, but no one knew it at the time. 398 00:25:11,454 --> 00:25:16,569 When they phoned through here from Truro wanting Ted to close it as the special was starting off, 399 00:25:16,568 --> 00:25:20,510 Ted answers that he would go and shut the bridge that moment. 400 00:25:20,510 --> 00:25:24,667 But them were the last words he was ever heard to speak. 401 00:25:24,666 --> 00:25:27,436 Well, what happened? 402 00:25:27,436 --> 00:25:33,404 It was striking 11 o'clock when he lit his lamp and went out on the platform. 403 00:25:33,404 --> 00:25:39,958 He reached the bridge wheel, and as he tried to turn it... 404 00:25:40,908 --> 00:25:45,303 Then the illness come on him. 405 00:25:45,418 --> 00:25:48,640 But yet something must have told him it was all up with him. 406 00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:53,115 But he gathered up his strength and struggled back towards the waiting room. 407 00:25:53,114 --> 00:25:56,524 His one thought was to get to that phone and stop the train from coming. 408 00:25:56,524 --> 00:25:59,294 But he never reached it! 409 00:25:59,294 --> 00:26:05,902 He falls down there, dead, with his lamp still burning in his hand! 410 00:26:05,901 --> 00:26:09,630 The special was dead on time. The signals were with it. 411 00:26:09,630 --> 00:26:12,400 And it were a coming along fast with the bridge wide open! 412 00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:14,287 And Ted Holmes lying there dead! 413 00:26:14,849 --> 00:26:18,046 It seemed as though when he were just about the station, 414 00:26:18,046 --> 00:26:21,350 something warned Ben Isaacs a danger, but he claps on his brakes. 415 00:26:21,350 --> 00:26:26,358 And the train went up tearing through the station here with all the brakes on and the whistle screaming! 416 00:26:26,357 --> 00:26:30,513 It were no use! The train was a thundering through the tunnel 417 00:26:30,513 --> 00:26:34,846 straight through the open bridge into the river! Crash! 418 00:26:35,268 --> 00:26:39,752 Horrible! Oh Herbert! 419 00:26:41,699 --> 00:26:45,110 I warned ya it weren't no pretty story ye was making me tell. 420 00:26:45,110 --> 00:26:48,093 Yes, but where does the haunting come in? 421 00:26:48,093 --> 00:26:51,290 Some nights the signal bell rings! 422 00:26:51,290 --> 00:26:56,404 And a train comes screaming and a tearing through the station with its whistle blowing! 423 00:26:56,403 --> 00:26:58,535 Probably a goods train. 424 00:26:58,536 --> 00:27:02,691 I tell you there ain't no trains run on these metals from 10:00 at night till 7:00 in the morning! 425 00:27:02,690 --> 00:27:06,526 Besides, whatever it is, 426 00:27:06,526 --> 00:27:11,853 it never starts from Truro and it never runs into St. Lannes. 427 00:27:11,852 --> 00:27:14,592 If it be a natural thing, 428 00:27:14,647 --> 00:27:18,621 where do it come from? Where do it go? 429 00:27:23,027 --> 00:27:24,959 Have you ever seen it? 430 00:27:24,959 --> 00:27:27,089 I shouldn't be here if I had! 431 00:27:27,089 --> 00:27:32,422 They do say, as to look on the ghost train, do mean death! 432 00:27:37,845 --> 00:27:42,327 You can stop here if you like, but not me! I got a wife and children looking to me! 433 00:27:42,326 --> 00:27:43,284 Do you mean you're afraid? 434 00:27:43,285 --> 00:27:45,842 Afraid? I am afraid. I bear the shame to own it! 435 00:27:45,842 --> 00:27:48,506 Well, we're not! Very well. 436 00:27:48,506 --> 00:27:50,727 Seeing you've made up your mind to it. 437 00:27:51,808 --> 00:27:59,030 But if ye do hear a train, for god's sake, don't you go running out to look at it! 438 00:28:02,413 --> 00:28:04,915 Good night to you all. 439 00:28:04,915 --> 00:28:09,025 Good night, ol' boy. Thanks for the bedtime story. 440 00:28:10,781 --> 00:28:15,251 Cheerful bloke! Oh! I'm glad he's gone! 441 00:28:15,250 --> 00:28:18,020 Me hands have all come out in a perspiration. 442 00:28:18,021 --> 00:28:21,430 Ghost train! Ha! 443 00:28:21,429 --> 00:28:24,872 Never heard such nonsense in all my life! 444 00:28:25,691 --> 00:28:29,741 That railway accident did take place, you know. Yes, possibly. 445 00:28:29,741 --> 00:28:32,511 But all that nonsense about the sight of a train having killed people, 446 00:28:32,511 --> 00:28:34,854 surely as a medical man, you don't believe that! 447 00:28:34,854 --> 00:28:36,346 Of course he doesn't! 448 00:28:36,347 --> 00:28:41,355 Young lady, I expect you think I'm just an old-fashioned GP. 449 00:28:41,354 --> 00:28:44,871 Nowadays if these specialists don't understand something, 450 00:28:44,871 --> 00:28:48,280 they chatter about inhibitions and split personalities. 451 00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:50,944 I prefer the immortal William. 452 00:28:50,944 --> 00:28:57,657 "There are more things in heaven and earth..." Ah, he knew a thing or two, eh? 453 00:28:57,656 --> 00:29:01,599 You don't think there's anything in what he said, do you Herbert? 454 00:29:01,598 --> 00:29:03,302 Of course not. 455 00:29:03,303 --> 00:29:04,999 All chains, come along please. 456 00:29:05,056 --> 00:29:07,671 Any more for Jews, freewinds, refers, real friendly. Gaww... 457 00:29:07,671 --> 00:29:09,269 Who will have a ticket for the ghost train? 458 00:29:09,270 --> 00:29:13,639 Guaranteed haunted in every bogie. Whoo! 459 00:29:13,638 --> 00:29:16,559 Will you shut up! Shut up? Very good, sir. 460 00:29:16,565 --> 00:29:18,006 Pipe please. 461 00:29:18,007 --> 00:29:21,523 If this be a natural thing... 462 00:29:21,523 --> 00:29:25,785 Where do it come from? Where do it go? 463 00:29:25,784 --> 00:29:29,407 To think, we've got to put up with that little squirt for the next 8 hours! 464 00:29:29,407 --> 00:29:31,112 An alarming thought, eh? 465 00:29:31,113 --> 00:29:33,883 Do you play chess by any chance, doctor? 466 00:29:33,883 --> 00:29:38,145 Chess? Yes yes. I have played. I'm afraid I'm a bit rusty now though. 467 00:29:38,144 --> 00:29:41,873 Well, it's hardly my game of course. But it helps to pass the time away. 468 00:29:41,873 --> 00:29:43,778 Yes, I never sit here. 469 00:29:43,812 --> 00:29:45,345 Splendid! 470 00:30:02,542 --> 00:30:04,674 Here we are, playmates. Never a dull moment. 471 00:30:04,675 --> 00:30:06,593 Gander to the rescue. He's a scream! 472 00:30:06,593 --> 00:30:07,977 Now never mind about the ghost tale. 473 00:30:07,977 --> 00:30:09,469 What you want is a bit of music to cheer you up. 474 00:30:09,470 --> 00:30:11,920 And here's a little song I want to sing at Newquay this summer. 475 00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:15,121 It'll paralyze them. 476 00:30:20,248 --> 00:30:24,386 ♪ Once at the seaside, feeling very restless. I ran down tuppence and I rolled on the pier ♪ 477 00:30:24,386 --> 00:30:28,328 ♪ Hadn't gone far when the strains of music Wafted on the breeze and landed in my ear ♪ 478 00:30:28,328 --> 00:30:32,272 ♪ I quickened up me steps for I love nice noises Very soon arrived right opposite the band ♪ 479 00:30:32,272 --> 00:30:36,321 ♪ Saw the conductor on a lemonade box With his little baton stuck up in his right hand ♪ 480 00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:40,262 ♪ One two three four, off went the cornet Five six seven eight, the fiddles followed too ♪ 481 00:30:40,262 --> 00:30:44,205 ♪ A man in the corner playing on the piccolo Keeping time with the sole of his boot ♪ 482 00:30:44,205 --> 00:30:48,041 ♪ Right behind him was a fellow with the trombone Blowing like the devil with his cheeks out wide ♪ 483 00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:52,195 ♪ Working so hard that both his little eyeballs Left their sockets and stood outside ♪ 484 00:30:52,195 --> 00:30:55,924 ♪ Hanging on a rostrum, a drummer, very lonely Drums all round like bees in a swarm ♪ 485 00:30:55,924 --> 00:30:59,760 ♪ Looking very cold with his nose quite scarlet Banging on the cymbals to keep himself warm ♪ 486 00:30:59,759 --> 00:31:03,702 ♪ Opposite to him was the man with the toupee Spitting down a reed - what a nasty man! ♪ 487 00:31:03,702 --> 00:31:07,643 ♪ Sitting next to him was a fellow with a French horn Full of soul and bitter beer, tuppence on the can ♪ 488 00:31:07,643 --> 00:31:11,480 ♪ Fellow with a cello, boom boom boom boom Trying very hard to saw it in two ♪ 489 00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:15,316 ♪ His pal with the double bass, cuddling it fondly Looking like a camel with a dose of the flu ♪ 490 00:31:15,315 --> 00:31:19,151 ♪ Man with a piccolo, fed up with the dancing Sick and tired of hearing the same old toot ♪ 491 00:31:19,151 --> 00:31:22,881 ♪ Thought he'd like a change so he put it down beside him And then started messing with a full size flute ♪ 492 00:31:22,881 --> 00:31:26,929 ♪ Man with the bassoon, nothing on his music Acted like a mute, never said a word ♪ 493 00:31:26,929 --> 00:31:35,152 ♪ Just as I thought he was going to fall asleep He picked up his bassoon and gave us all the bird ♪ 494 00:31:59,780 --> 00:32:03,903 Why you little... I'll knock... Richard! Richard! Richard! 495 00:32:03,902 --> 00:32:05,179 After all, you started it. 496 00:32:05,180 --> 00:32:08,165 Yes, yes. We don't want anymore unpleasantness, do we, huh? 497 00:32:08,165 --> 00:32:09,655 Well I've had just about enough of him! 498 00:32:09,656 --> 00:32:12,877 I was only trying to cheer things up. Well don't! 499 00:32:15,199 --> 00:32:19,139 So you don't want me to entertain you, eh? No! 500 00:32:19,138 --> 00:32:22,915 No good? Napoleon? 501 00:32:43,536 --> 00:32:46,521 I heard something! In there! 502 00:32:46,521 --> 00:32:49,718 In where? The refreshment room? 503 00:32:49,718 --> 00:32:53,234 I'll go and see. I'll attend to this! 504 00:32:53,234 --> 00:32:55,232 Yes certainly. You go first. 505 00:33:01,970 --> 00:33:06,766 Oh help help ooh! Oohh let me go! 506 00:33:06,766 --> 00:33:09,429 Oh he's got me! Help! Let me go! Help! 507 00:33:09,429 --> 00:33:14,330 Oh help help! Ah ha ha! 508 00:33:14,329 --> 00:33:20,937 Ah ha ha ha.... No good? Napoleon... No good... 509 00:33:20,936 --> 00:33:23,713 It's all right, everyone. There's not a thing. 510 00:33:24,771 --> 00:33:27,436 Look! What is it now? 511 00:33:27,436 --> 00:33:31,272 You've got a packet of tea in your hand! What's the matter with it? 512 00:33:31,272 --> 00:33:33,402 It's tea! Of course it's tea, you silly little man. 513 00:33:33,402 --> 00:33:35,430 That's no reason to go around scaring the wits out... 514 00:33:35,430 --> 00:33:38,410 Tea! What an idea! A cup of tea! That's what I meant. 515 00:33:38,410 --> 00:33:39,795 I suppose you haven't got a teapot and a kettle 516 00:33:39,796 --> 00:33:41,394 and a few cups and saucers in there? No, I haven't! 517 00:33:41,394 --> 00:33:44,377 And you give me back my tea, please. Ah, stingy! 518 00:33:44,378 --> 00:33:47,148 Two weeks coupons there! Now now. Don't be mean. 519 00:33:47,148 --> 00:33:49,704 After all, there's a war on. We're adapting the pool system. 520 00:33:49,704 --> 00:33:52,049 Wait a minute. I'll tell you what I'll do. 521 00:33:52,049 --> 00:33:54,819 You give us your tea and I'll give you a bacon, a sugar 522 00:33:54,819 --> 00:33:56,737 and a couple of cooking checks out of my ration book, 523 00:33:56,737 --> 00:33:59,186 Eh? Go on. Yes, go on. 524 00:33:59,187 --> 00:34:05,154 Woo woo woo... I don't mind you having just one teaspoonful. 525 00:34:05,153 --> 00:34:08,457 Ah, Lady Norfeld. Yeah, none for each and one for the pot. 526 00:34:08,457 --> 00:34:10,481 Aren't you ashamed, both of you! 527 00:34:10,481 --> 00:34:13,145 Oh I don't mind, dear. I could do with a cup of tea myself. 528 00:34:13,145 --> 00:34:19,113 I've got a tin of milk too. Oh oh, sorry Polly. 529 00:34:19,112 --> 00:34:21,563 You do that again and I'll have you boiled up with a few carrots. 530 00:34:21,563 --> 00:34:22,840 In what are we gonna make the tea? 531 00:34:22,841 --> 00:34:25,185 Well there's sure to be a tea urn in the refreshment room. 532 00:34:25,185 --> 00:34:27,740 The girl's not as dumb as she looks! Come on. 533 00:34:27,954 --> 00:34:29,553 Where are you going? 534 00:34:29,554 --> 00:34:32,644 I'm going to make some tea, if you don't mind. 535 00:34:32,644 --> 00:34:35,307 It's all right, boys. Don't worry. We can manage. 536 00:34:35,307 --> 00:34:37,012 There you are. 537 00:34:37,012 --> 00:34:39,142 Should we make tea in the dark? Or will you have gas? 538 00:34:39,143 --> 00:34:41,809 Gas, thank you. Certainly. 539 00:34:44,150 --> 00:34:47,134 Now, lovely weather we're having for this time of the day. 540 00:34:47,134 --> 00:34:47,986 What could I do for you? 541 00:34:47,987 --> 00:34:53,431 First of all, I want eight cups. Eight cups. ... Good. 542 00:34:54,443 --> 00:35:01,094 What did you say? Eight cups? Eight cups. ... Yes, uh... 543 00:35:01,092 --> 00:35:04,608 Will you have them with or without? With or without what? 544 00:35:04,608 --> 00:35:06,845 Handles. With, please. 545 00:35:06,845 --> 00:35:08,844 I was afraid of that. 546 00:35:09,934 --> 00:35:13,771 I'm afraid we're a little short of handles. It's been too rough for the boats to go out. 547 00:35:13,771 --> 00:35:17,820 However, there you are: four cups and four suck-ups. 548 00:35:17,820 --> 00:35:21,762 Hello. I've been looking all over the hotel for you. 549 00:35:21,762 --> 00:35:23,894 What do you want? I've come to help you make the tea. 550 00:35:23,894 --> 00:35:26,237 Well we don't want any help. Good. What do I do? 551 00:35:26,237 --> 00:35:29,860 There don't seem to be a tap here. You can help us find some water. 552 00:35:29,860 --> 00:35:31,031 Goody goody! 553 00:35:31,032 --> 00:35:33,269 Wait a minute! You can't go out in this rain. 554 00:35:33,269 --> 00:35:36,040 Of course not! No! You go! 555 00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:38,597 Oh... Do you mind? 556 00:35:38,597 --> 00:35:41,261 No. My other suit will be dry by the time I get back. 557 00:35:41,261 --> 00:35:47,036 Big hearted Gander, that's me! Hot water in number 14. ... Oohh... 558 00:35:48,505 --> 00:35:51,489 Of course if you insist on going. She doesn't. 559 00:35:51,489 --> 00:35:54,377 Oh. ... Oh! Just the very thing! 560 00:35:59,796 --> 00:36:03,466 "It's a far far wetter thing I go to..." 561 00:37:31,407 --> 00:37:33,562 Hear! Guess what I found. 562 00:37:33,562 --> 00:37:34,946 I wouldn't misadvise. 563 00:37:34,947 --> 00:37:38,144 The wheel that works the bridge. You know, the one that old man nearly died of. 564 00:37:38,144 --> 00:37:41,234 Oh can't you forget about that old man? All right, old man! 565 00:37:41,234 --> 00:37:44,111 That's true. There is a wheel. Yes, just outside there. 566 00:37:44,111 --> 00:37:46,454 That's a gruesome story, isn't it? 567 00:37:46,454 --> 00:37:51,570 But what must it be, when the train comes a screaming and a tearing through the station? 568 00:37:51,569 --> 00:37:56,012 ...With it's whiskers blowing and it's oranged steamer... I said forget it! 569 00:37:58,281 --> 00:38:01,836 What was I talking about? Here, can I help you? 570 00:38:04,247 --> 00:38:08,358 I know. Light the blue paper and retire immediately. 571 00:38:10,001 --> 00:38:11,919 All right, everybody! Don't be alarmed! 572 00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:15,474 That was the tear. I just "tear"ned on the gas! 573 00:38:18,632 --> 00:38:21,632 Oh, I'm gonna take that one out of the joke book. 574 00:38:22,573 --> 00:38:26,091 I'm afraid my stuff's too high class for them. Hello! I see you got it to light. 575 00:38:26,091 --> 00:38:28,008 Yes, we know how it works, and we found the cups 576 00:38:28,008 --> 00:38:29,499 and we're doing very well. Thank you very much. 577 00:38:29,500 --> 00:38:30,992 All right. I was only trying to be useful. 578 00:38:30,993 --> 00:38:33,869 Wasn't I, miss? ah... What did you say your name was? 579 00:38:33,869 --> 00:38:36,319 The lady didn't say what her name was. Well, I told her what my name was. 580 00:38:36,319 --> 00:38:37,704 Well, that's no reason to come in here... 581 00:38:37,704 --> 00:38:40,901 If it'll stop you two arguing, it's Winthrop. Jackie Winthrop. 582 00:38:40,901 --> 00:38:43,458 Winthrop! Oh, the same as R.G. in there. 583 00:38:43,458 --> 00:38:46,654 Well, he's not your brother and he's not your father. 584 00:38:46,654 --> 00:38:49,850 He can't be your sister, even if he does play hockey for Hampshire. 585 00:38:49,850 --> 00:38:52,408 Look here. Is this a cross-examination. Oh I don't mind. 586 00:38:52,408 --> 00:38:55,497 Well I do! This silly little man has done nothing but force his attentions on you 587 00:38:55,497 --> 00:38:56,882 ever since he lost his silly hat! 588 00:38:56,883 --> 00:38:59,867 Well, I can't call her Miss Whats-Her-Name! Besides, I was only trying to help. 589 00:38:59,867 --> 00:39:05,533 Well go and help the people in the other room. Go on. Well I don't want to. Oh no. 590 00:39:07,004 --> 00:39:10,202 He's your cousin. 591 00:39:10,202 --> 00:39:14,571 And you're not...uumm... No. 592 00:39:14,570 --> 00:39:16,458 That's all I wanted to know. 593 00:39:17,765 --> 00:39:22,242 I say, don't be so miserable. Oh come on. Cheer up! 594 00:39:22,242 --> 00:39:25,545 Don't do that! Give me the palpitations! 595 00:39:25,545 --> 00:39:28,954 I say, talking about ghosts... We're not! 596 00:39:28,954 --> 00:39:29,913 But I am. 597 00:39:29,913 --> 00:39:33,749 Talking about ghosts reminds me of a story about Golders Green. 598 00:39:33,749 --> 00:39:35,773 Do you know Golders Green? The underground? 599 00:39:35,773 --> 00:39:39,289 No, the crematorium. Oh? 600 00:39:39,289 --> 00:39:43,445 One day as they were pushing the bodies in... Shut up! 601 00:39:43,445 --> 00:39:47,174 Wait a minute... as they were pushing the bodies in... 602 00:39:47,174 --> 00:39:49,838 Will you shut up!? Don't you see, you're frightening the ladies? 603 00:39:49,838 --> 00:39:52,502 Don't be silly! You're enjoying it, aren't you? No I'm not! 604 00:39:52,502 --> 00:39:58,576 Oh, perhaps you'd rather I told you the story about the man who had his tongue torn out. 605 00:39:58,575 --> 00:40:02,463 No I wouldn't! Oh, aren't you a difficult lot. 606 00:40:03,795 --> 00:40:06,239 Tea break coming up! 607 00:40:06,991 --> 00:40:09,762 Eight cups of tea. What about Ted? Doesn't he get one? 608 00:40:09,762 --> 00:40:11,253 Ted? Who's Ted? 609 00:40:11,254 --> 00:40:13,918 Ted Hooolmes! I bet he's a bit thirsty by now! 610 00:40:13,918 --> 00:40:16,901 After all he's been lying here these past 43 years! 611 00:40:16,901 --> 00:40:19,031 That's not funny! I know it's not funny. 612 00:40:19,031 --> 00:40:22,228 How would you like to be lying there with a lamp still burning in your hand?! 613 00:40:22,228 --> 00:40:24,785 Will you...! Oh come and help me lay the table. 614 00:40:24,785 --> 00:40:26,451 Yes, all right. Excuse me. 615 00:40:28,300 --> 00:40:31,072 Thank you. Can we have this? We'll give it back to you afterwards. 616 00:40:31,072 --> 00:40:33,096 Now don't fuss. There you are. Move please . 617 00:40:33,096 --> 00:40:36,292 There you go. That's splendid. There we are. 618 00:40:36,292 --> 00:40:40,069 First service now ready. Take your seats for the first service. 619 00:40:44,779 --> 00:40:47,800 Charlie, hot coffee and buttered rolls twice. 620 00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:52,022 Oh, and a semolina for the spook. Won't be long now, sir. 621 00:40:54,618 --> 00:40:57,069 Oh I shouldn't put him here! Why? 622 00:40:57,070 --> 00:41:00,266 He's too near Ted's lamp. He'd singe his parson's nose. 623 00:41:00,266 --> 00:41:02,265 Wait a minute... 624 00:41:06,856 --> 00:41:11,773 You're asking for a judgment, young man! Joking like that about them that's gone. 625 00:41:11,773 --> 00:41:15,929 Oh, ol' Ted wouldn't mind. If he was alive now, he'd die laughing. 626 00:41:15,928 --> 00:41:18,371 Wouldn't you, Ted? Heh heh, good ol' Ted. 627 00:41:20,402 --> 00:41:24,560 Herbert, ask them if they'd like one of our sandwiches. No. 628 00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:26,892 Why not? We want them. 629 00:41:28,713 --> 00:41:32,975 Would you like one of our sandwiches? We might as well share what we've got. 630 00:41:32,975 --> 00:41:35,852 Oh it's awfully sweet of you. That's all right. We've got plenty. 631 00:41:35,852 --> 00:41:37,878 Haven't we, Herbert? That's right. 632 00:41:37,878 --> 00:41:42,459 I've got two hard boiled eggs. They don't agree with me. 633 00:41:42,459 --> 00:41:45,016 Oh quite a party. Tea, eggs, sandwiches. 634 00:41:45,016 --> 00:41:46,934 Yeah, isn't this fun. Let's see what else we can collect. 635 00:41:46,934 --> 00:41:49,385 Well, I've got the salt. And two pieces of sugar. 636 00:41:49,385 --> 00:41:50,236 Oh tah. 637 00:41:50,237 --> 00:41:52,902 Oh no, they're for Polly. She always has my rations. 638 00:41:55,032 --> 00:41:58,548 I always give mine to Ted. Hey fellow. 639 00:41:58,547 --> 00:42:02,383 What about a slice of lemon for half-pint? Now I warn you, Gander! 640 00:42:02,383 --> 00:42:03,129 Hey you. 641 00:42:03,130 --> 00:42:08,458 I have a little brandy here I always carry with me, for medicinal purposes, of course. 642 00:42:08,457 --> 00:42:13,997 Oh yes. I can see... the cough... the cold... If anyone else would like a sip with their tea. 643 00:42:13,996 --> 00:42:16,341 Brandy in tea! That's disgusting! 644 00:42:16,342 --> 00:42:19,006 I don't know how a doctor can bring himself to mention it. 645 00:42:19,006 --> 00:42:22,734 I must say, I'm not surprised, coming from him! 646 00:42:22,734 --> 00:42:25,292 Do you mean to say you've never tasted brandy in your tea? 647 00:42:25,292 --> 00:42:27,316 I've never tasted alcohol in my life! 648 00:42:27,316 --> 00:42:29,873 Then you shouldn't knock it back so quickly. You should chew it a bit. 649 00:42:29,873 --> 00:42:31,257 Thank you, doctor. 650 00:42:31,258 --> 00:42:34,988 Here's my contribution, two sausage rolls, very rare specimens. 651 00:42:34,987 --> 00:42:35,732 Whose are these from? 652 00:42:35,733 --> 00:42:37,863 Put it down! Don’t touch the exhibits! 653 00:42:37,864 --> 00:42:41,308 Here. Go and force your rhubarb. Let's all sit down. 654 00:42:41,536 --> 00:42:43,191 Will you have one? Oh thanks. 655 00:42:43,192 --> 00:42:45,110 Sausage roll? I don't recommend them. 656 00:42:45,110 --> 00:42:50,544 Polly! Stuck his foot out that time! Oh come and sit down. 657 00:42:50,543 --> 00:42:53,100 Richard, some tea? No thanks. 658 00:42:53,101 --> 00:42:56,191 Sausage roll, doctor? No thanks. 659 00:42:56,191 --> 00:42:57,576 What? No cake? 660 00:42:57,576 --> 00:43:00,346 We had a bit of cake, but we ate it at Plymouth, didn't we Herbert? 661 00:43:00,346 --> 00:43:01,730 That's right. It's not right! 662 00:43:01,731 --> 00:43:05,567 How can you have your cake and eat it at Plymouth? Huh huh... 663 00:43:05,566 --> 00:43:07,697 Oh well, uh, I haven't provided anything yet. 664 00:43:07,698 --> 00:43:10,255 Now let me see... Oh there's a chocolate machine outside. 665 00:43:10,255 --> 00:43:12,172 Give me your pennies and I'll provide the sweets. Eh? 666 00:43:12,172 --> 00:43:15,262 That's the first sensible thing you've said. Come on. Let's have your lovely pennies. 667 00:43:15,262 --> 00:43:18,566 Tah. My benefit next Tuesday. There we are. 668 00:43:18,566 --> 00:43:20,803 What about you, auntie? Two ha'pennies. 669 00:43:20,803 --> 00:43:23,679 Oh well, ah… give me those. I'll give you a penny. 670 00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:27,012 That's odd, isn't it. Yeah yeah. 671 00:43:42,501 --> 00:43:45,651 There you are, Ted. Now he's in nobody's way. 672 00:43:48,111 --> 00:43:51,077 That was the other foot! 673 00:43:55,111 --> 00:43:59,555 Get out of here! Close the door! Please! 674 00:44:01,930 --> 00:44:05,980 I don't think I'll feel much like eating. Well you ought to try it. 675 00:44:05,980 --> 00:44:08,431 Okay miss. Keep asking. 676 00:44:08,431 --> 00:44:10,987 I'm going to be Edna Turkins tomorrow. Won't I, Herbert? 677 00:44:10,987 --> 00:44:12,542 I hope so. 678 00:44:13,650 --> 00:44:16,206 What the... 679 00:44:29,787 --> 00:44:33,682 There you are. Chocolates! 680 00:44:33,682 --> 00:44:37,625 Chocolates? You silly little man! These are matches! 681 00:44:37,624 --> 00:44:41,779 But I put ah uh... Matches. 682 00:44:41,779 --> 00:44:45,615 That's right. Oh never mind. We'll do without. 683 00:44:45,615 --> 00:44:47,853 Well, we'll just have to smoke lots of cigarettes and use them up. 684 00:44:47,853 --> 00:44:50,090 Cigarette, doctor? Oh! Cigarettes! 685 00:44:50,090 --> 00:44:54,673 Talking of cigarettes reminds me of something that once happened to me. 686 00:44:54,673 --> 00:44:58,934 You know, I was sitting in a railway carriage opposite a man with a bowler hat. 687 00:44:58,933 --> 00:45:01,203 And he was smoking a cigarette. 688 00:45:01,204 --> 00:45:07,780 Well, the cigarette got shorter and shorter, and suddenly I realized, 689 00:45:07,778 --> 00:45:14,811 it was burning right through his lip! Sizzle - sizzle - sizzle. 690 00:45:14,810 --> 00:45:19,072 I found out afterwards, he'd been dead since Clapham Junction. 691 00:45:19,072 --> 00:45:22,695 Now look here. Just because some fool of a station master tells a story... 692 00:45:22,694 --> 00:45:24,582 Listen! 693 00:45:32,060 --> 00:45:35,181 There's someone coming down the platform! 694 00:45:39,949 --> 00:45:45,510 Wait! They're over there now. 695 00:46:07,763 --> 00:46:14,541 Aahhhh! It's the stationmaster! 696 00:46:21,967 --> 00:46:25,056 Looks serious. Let's take him into the other room. 697 00:46:25,056 --> 00:46:29,134 I'll get some water. I'll go. I know where it is. 698 00:46:30,245 --> 00:46:32,689 Pick it up. 699 00:46:42,032 --> 00:46:44,628 Better get him on the table here. 700 00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:19,366 Oh dear. Oh dear. Think I'm going off too. 701 00:47:19,365 --> 00:47:24,030 Well, I'm just as frightened as you are, but we must try and pull ourselves together. 702 00:47:29,166 --> 00:47:32,790 Here it is. I run all the way. 703 00:47:32,790 --> 00:47:37,265 I'm afraid you're too late. Poor fellow. 704 00:47:37,264 --> 00:47:41,633 We'll have to phone the police. I'll do that. 705 00:47:41,633 --> 00:47:44,410 Well, we'd better get back to the ladies. 706 00:47:48,107 --> 00:47:52,288 How is he? He's... he's dead. 707 00:47:52,287 --> 00:47:53,778 Dead? I fear so. 708 00:47:53,779 --> 00:47:56,017 As far as I can tell, he died of shock. 709 00:47:56,017 --> 00:47:59,213 I say you, don't think there is anything in that story... No, we don't! 710 00:47:59,213 --> 00:48:00,811 Well if you don't, I do! 711 00:48:00,812 --> 00:48:02,623 Herbert, you've got to take me out of here. 712 00:48:02,623 --> 00:48:04,007 You can't go in this weather. 713 00:48:04,008 --> 00:48:05,819 I'm not stopping here with no corpses! 714 00:48:05,819 --> 00:48:08,803 Yes, but where are we going to? I don't know. 715 00:48:08,803 --> 00:48:13,491 Back to mother's somehow. I think I'd rather stay here with the deceased. 716 00:48:13,490 --> 00:48:18,267 I'm not stopping here with no corpses, not for nobody! Come on, Herbert. 717 00:48:24,423 --> 00:48:26,703 Richard, you're not going to let them go like that. 718 00:48:26,703 --> 00:48:28,407 If they want to go, it's their funeral. 719 00:48:28,408 --> 00:48:30,326 Who said funeral? 720 00:48:30,326 --> 00:48:32,456 Now don't you worry. Everything's going to be all right. 721 00:48:32,456 --> 00:48:37,252 Oh dear. To think that such a thing should happen to me. 722 00:48:37,252 --> 00:48:41,584 But nothing has happened to you... yet. Try this. 723 00:48:46,782 --> 00:48:49,824 Oh dear. I shall never be the same women again. 724 00:48:49,824 --> 00:48:51,208 I can't get through to the police. 725 00:48:51,208 --> 00:48:53,233 The line must be down. Oh, pity 726 00:48:53,233 --> 00:48:55,790 Police? What does he want the police for? 727 00:48:55,791 --> 00:48:57,389 Don't worry any more. 728 00:48:57,389 --> 00:48:59,732 Where's the happy couple? They're gone. 729 00:48:59,732 --> 00:49:03,036 Gone? Where to? They've gone to break the news to mother. 730 00:49:03,036 --> 00:49:08,364 I want to go too. I don't like it here. I want to go home. 731 00:49:08,363 --> 00:49:10,174 Doctor, isn't there anything you can do for her? 732 00:49:10,175 --> 00:49:11,986 Well, I, ah... Ah, here we are! 733 00:49:11,986 --> 00:49:13,690 Doctor Hennessey's Blood Mixture! 734 00:49:13,691 --> 00:49:16,781 Now this will put you on your feet... or knock you off them. 735 00:49:16,781 --> 00:49:22,109 Cheerio! Aaahh. Do you feel better now? 736 00:49:22,108 --> 00:49:25,773 You certainly look better. Here. Try a drop more. 737 00:49:29,566 --> 00:49:36,707 It smells like Christmas pudding! Oh, I believe it's brandy. 738 00:49:36,705 --> 00:49:40,371 No! Is it really? Let me see. 739 00:49:42,564 --> 00:49:45,761 Do you know, I believe you are right! This is just what you want. 740 00:49:45,761 --> 00:49:49,491 Not likely. I was born and raised strict temperance. 741 00:49:49,491 --> 00:49:52,794 And so I mean to stay. But this is medicine! 742 00:49:52,794 --> 00:49:57,696 Well if you're sure. But only a tiny drop now. 743 00:49:57,695 --> 00:50:01,916 Just to relieve the palpitation. Yes. 744 00:50:04,194 --> 00:50:10,194 Cough it up. Oh. Oh no. I've broken the pledge. 745 00:50:12,397 --> 00:50:14,956 It's warming me all the way down! 746 00:50:14,957 --> 00:50:17,940 Yes, you wait till it gets to the junction! 747 00:50:17,940 --> 00:50:21,456 It's not really nasty, is it? No! 748 00:50:21,456 --> 00:50:25,718 I mean as medicines go. That seems to be going pretty well. 749 00:50:25,717 --> 00:50:30,272 I think I'd better take that, eh? Ah, just a minute. 750 00:50:32,535 --> 00:50:36,266 There you go. She's got a bad - a huh - same as you have. 751 00:50:36,266 --> 00:50:39,462 Now sip that slowly and you'll be as right as rain. 752 00:50:39,462 --> 00:50:43,239 That's right. Got a funny taste, doesn't it. 753 00:50:45,110 --> 00:50:48,626 Listen, I just thought of something funny. Well, that's a change! 754 00:50:48,626 --> 00:50:50,650 Do you remember when he fell through the door? Yeah. 755 00:50:50,650 --> 00:50:53,633 It was just 11 o'clock. What about it? 756 00:50:53,633 --> 00:50:54,804 Don't you remember? 757 00:50:54,805 --> 00:50:57,256 The stationmaster said that that was the time that Ted Holmes... 758 00:50:57,256 --> 00:50:59,920 Shhh! Will you shut up about all that! 759 00:50:59,920 --> 00:51:04,395 I was only trying... Hey! Here here here here! 760 00:51:04,394 --> 00:51:10,727 Oh! Ah, look! All gone. Now what have you been a doing, love? 761 00:51:15,137 --> 00:51:22,402 In spite of all these terrible happenings, I'm beginning to feel quite happy. 762 00:51:22,401 --> 00:51:27,517 You naughty girl! Oohh! You're tight and you like it! 763 00:51:27,516 --> 00:51:35,615 ♪ Oh dear, what can the matter be? Oh dear, what can the matter be? ♪ 764 00:51:35,613 --> 00:51:38,490 ♪ Oh dear... I think you'd better go and lie down. 765 00:51:38,490 --> 00:51:42,752 Go lie down yourself. I mean you'd be much more comfortable. 766 00:51:42,752 --> 00:51:45,309 I'm bubbly and comfortable, thank you! 767 00:51:45,309 --> 00:51:49,464 Whoa! Whoops-a-daisy! Whoops-a-blooming-buttercup! 768 00:51:49,464 --> 00:51:54,047 The buffet. ♪ Little Miss Muffet, Off to the buffet. ♪ 769 00:51:54,046 --> 00:51:56,176 You know, everything's going around. 770 00:51:56,176 --> 00:52:00,865 I feel just as I did when I come off the big wheel platform. 771 00:52:00,865 --> 00:52:04,915 Oh, not surprised. ♪ Oh dear, what can the... ♪ 772 00:52:04,915 --> 00:52:06,512 You better come too. Now now now. 773 00:52:06,512 --> 00:52:08,110 We're going to put you to bed. 774 00:52:08,111 --> 00:52:13,226 Young man! I think you forget yourself! He-he-hoo! 775 00:52:13,225 --> 00:52:19,299 Young woman. I think you flatter yourself. In we go. ♪ Oh dear, what can the... ♪ 776 00:52:19,298 --> 00:52:21,748 I don't want to go in here. Yeah, go on. In you go. 777 00:52:21,748 --> 00:52:24,306 No, I don't want to go in here. Go in. Tickle-tickle! 778 00:52:24,306 --> 00:52:27,715 Oh, come on. Here we are. 779 00:52:27,715 --> 00:52:30,485 This will make a lovely bed. Come on. 780 00:52:30,485 --> 00:52:34,748 I tell you that I've got a beautiful bed my home. No! 781 00:52:34,748 --> 00:52:39,437 Oh yes I have. I've got brass bedsteads in every room. 782 00:52:39,436 --> 00:52:42,419 What do you think of that? You hear that? 783 00:52:42,419 --> 00:52:50,084 Brass bedsteads. Brass bedsteads with knobs on. Knobs! 784 00:52:54,598 --> 00:52:57,122 Whoa! Take it easy, missus. Whoa-ho! 785 00:52:57,122 --> 00:53:03,942 Missus? Miss - Miss Bourne, and spinstress. Spinstress. 786 00:53:03,941 --> 00:53:07,137 With knobs on. I'm maiden laden. 787 00:53:07,137 --> 00:53:10,654 Here we are. It's going to be nice and comfortable. 788 00:53:10,654 --> 00:53:16,196 Hmm, and let me tell you, my funny blue-eyed boy. 789 00:53:16,195 --> 00:53:21,309 I was not neglected in my youth. Hm-hmm. 790 00:53:21,309 --> 00:53:25,039 Will one of you go get her rug for her? I'll get it. I'll go. No, I'll get it. 791 00:53:25,038 --> 00:53:28,554 Come on now. It's no use. No use. 792 00:53:28,554 --> 00:53:31,538 No knobs. Knobs? Never mind. 793 00:53:31,538 --> 00:53:33,349 Come on. No knobs. 794 00:53:33,350 --> 00:53:36,546 Wait a minute. Have you seen this? What? 795 00:53:36,546 --> 00:53:38,434 They all stay on! 796 00:53:42,511 --> 00:53:45,495 Well when the chap did it at the Hippodrome, they all stayed on. 797 00:53:45,495 --> 00:53:48,053 Ah good! There you are. 798 00:53:48,053 --> 00:53:50,385 Now you'll be as snug as a rug in bug! 799 00:53:52,207 --> 00:53:57,002 Look! Knobs! 800 00:53:57,002 --> 00:53:59,347 Knobs. Lovely knobs. 801 00:53:59,347 --> 00:54:01,790 There you are. Now go to sleep. 802 00:54:04,881 --> 00:54:07,553 This place is getting more like a mad house every minute! 803 00:54:08,403 --> 00:54:10,960 Richard! What? 804 00:54:10,960 --> 00:54:16,403 I thought I heard a scream. You're imagining things. 805 00:54:19,140 --> 00:54:20,832 What's the matter? 806 00:54:26,622 --> 00:54:32,178 It's all right. Nothing to worry about. Look I see! It's coming this way! 807 00:54:35,547 --> 00:54:38,128 Let me in! Let me in! 808 00:54:44,107 --> 00:54:48,678 You must help me! Please help me! Hide me from him! 809 00:54:48,678 --> 00:54:52,408 Hide you? What you mean? He's coming! 810 00:54:52,408 --> 00:54:54,859 He wants to take me back. But I'm not going! I'm not! 811 00:54:54,859 --> 00:55:00,613 I've got to see it tonight! I know it'll come. I always know. 812 00:55:00,612 --> 00:55:04,500 I'm afraid I don't follow you. But you know! You must know! 813 00:55:06,259 --> 00:55:10,480 There's a car coming down the road. It's him! 814 00:55:11,265 --> 00:55:13,932 Don't let him find me! 815 00:55:15,848 --> 00:55:18,832 You can't go in there. Then where can I go? 816 00:55:18,832 --> 00:55:23,497 We'll look after you, won't we? But he's coming, I tell you. Listen! 817 00:55:30,338 --> 00:55:32,893 He's crashed! I'll go out there. 818 00:55:33,534 --> 00:55:35,346 You better stay here, Winthrop. I'm coming! 819 00:55:35,347 --> 00:55:36,839 You'd better come too, doctor. 820 00:55:36,839 --> 00:55:39,504 Here! That's my coat. Oh you look after the shop. 821 00:55:44,900 --> 00:55:47,714 Are you hurt? No, I don't think so. 822 00:55:48,559 --> 00:55:50,583 You've given your car a bit of a headache. 823 00:55:50,584 --> 00:55:55,059 Oh look here. I've heard of it raining cats and poodles. 824 00:55:55,058 --> 00:55:58,255 But never stockings and brassieres. 825 00:55:58,255 --> 00:56:01,451 Some damn fool left his luggage in the middle of the road! 826 00:56:01,451 --> 00:56:04,434 Must be Edna and Herbert's. We can't hang about with this. 827 00:56:04,434 --> 00:56:06,991 Best come with us. There's a fire in the waiting room. 828 00:56:06,991 --> 00:56:12,323 Bring the fenders with you. Oh, he won't half-laugh when he sees this. 829 00:56:13,277 --> 00:56:16,826 Now stay in there. And keep quiet! 830 00:56:24,545 --> 00:56:29,905 Oh Herbert! Look at our fenders! And my trousseau! 831 00:56:34,776 --> 00:56:38,849 Well, who the devil are you people? Well, who the devil are you? 832 00:56:38,849 --> 00:56:42,153 Yes. My name is Price. Oh, I'm Tommy Gander. 833 00:56:42,153 --> 00:56:44,816 He's a scream. Comedian and entertainer. 834 00:56:44,816 --> 00:56:47,800 So far you've been n-EE-ther. N-EYE-ther. N-EE-ther. 835 00:56:47,800 --> 00:56:49,397 N-EYE-ther. Oh, we've been through all that. 836 00:56:49,397 --> 00:56:52,487 Oh Herbert. My new nightie. 837 00:56:52,487 --> 00:56:57,709 I shan't have anything to wear tomorrow night. That's right! 838 00:56:57,709 --> 00:57:00,266 What are you all doing here at this time of night? 839 00:57:00,266 --> 00:57:02,184 We might ask you the same question. 840 00:57:02,184 --> 00:57:05,273 I came out to look for my sister. Your sister? 841 00:57:05,273 --> 00:57:07,937 Yes, I have certain reasons for believing that she'd come to this place. 842 00:57:07,937 --> 00:57:10,387 Oh? And why do you think she'd come here? 843 00:57:10,387 --> 00:57:12,731 I can't be expected to go into that with strangers. 844 00:57:12,732 --> 00:57:14,543 In that case, I'm afraid we can't help you. 845 00:57:14,543 --> 00:57:17,098 I see. Then I'm afraid I shall look for myself. 846 00:57:24,121 --> 00:57:25,837 So she is in there. 847 00:57:25,837 --> 00:57:29,353 Before we get belligerent, don't you think some explanation would help? 848 00:57:29,353 --> 00:57:36,813 All right, if you must know. My sister is... well, not quite normal. 849 00:57:36,812 --> 00:57:39,156 She suffers from delusions. 850 00:57:39,156 --> 00:57:44,933 Normally she's kept under observation. But tonight she got away. 851 00:57:46,288 --> 00:57:50,451 It's a lie! Don't listen to him. 852 00:57:50,450 --> 00:57:54,116 He's trying to take me back. So there you are, Julia. 853 00:57:54,925 --> 00:57:59,827 It's no good. I can't come back. You know I can't. 854 00:57:59,826 --> 00:58:03,269 Now be sensible, dear. Oh what good is talking! 855 00:58:04,684 --> 00:58:10,802 I must stay here. I can't help myself. 856 00:58:10,801 --> 00:58:13,465 Julia... Don't touch me! Go away! 857 00:58:13,465 --> 00:58:16,553 Just a minute! How do we know that you're telling the truth? 858 00:58:16,553 --> 00:58:17,300 Here here! 859 00:58:17,300 --> 00:58:19,111 Perhaps you'll be good enough to mind your own business! 860 00:58:19,112 --> 00:58:22,201 Which is my business, if you insist on taking her away against her will. 861 00:58:22,201 --> 00:58:24,225 I associate myself with that unanimously! 862 00:58:24,225 --> 00:58:27,635 Now look here, Mr. Macintosh... What's it got to do with you? 863 00:58:27,635 --> 00:58:29,766 That's right. What's it got to do with me? 864 00:58:29,766 --> 00:58:33,921 Dear! Don't let him take me back, please! 865 00:58:33,921 --> 00:58:37,651 Why can't she stay here? At least until she's feeling better. 866 00:58:37,651 --> 00:58:38,928 Now listen to me, please. 867 00:58:38,928 --> 00:58:41,273 You people have heard the story of this place, I suppose. 868 00:58:41,274 --> 00:58:47,028 About the train that starts... screaming... lamps... Ted Holmes... that crash! 869 00:58:47,027 --> 00:58:49,477 He means the ghost train. So-called. 870 00:58:49,477 --> 00:58:53,846 Well that infernal nonsense is responsible for my sister's mental condition. 871 00:58:53,845 --> 00:58:56,294 She was near this station one night several years ago. 872 00:58:56,295 --> 00:58:57,469 She thought she saw the train. 873 00:58:57,469 --> 00:59:00,665 But I did see it. You know I saw it. I did see it! 874 00:59:00,665 --> 00:59:03,435 Yes, yes. It was a great shock to her. 875 00:59:03,435 --> 00:59:08,434 So great a shock that it... well, affected her permanently. 876 00:59:08,656 --> 00:59:11,640 Some nights she gets the idea that the ghost train will run. 877 00:59:11,640 --> 00:59:15,796 She has a morbid fascination for it. She feels she must see it again. 878 00:59:15,795 --> 00:59:20,696 Tonight is one of those games. So I hope you understand. 879 00:59:20,696 --> 00:59:25,811 But it will come tonight. I know it will! 880 00:59:25,810 --> 00:59:29,327 Yes, yes. By the way, who told you this story? 881 00:59:29,327 --> 00:59:31,288 The stationmaster. With all the trimmings! 882 00:59:31,288 --> 00:59:34,117 Mind you, he warned us: Twernt no pretty story. 883 00:59:34,118 --> 00:59:35,932 What, old Saul Hodgkin? Where is he? 884 00:59:35,933 --> 00:59:38,597 He's in the ticket office. He's dead! 885 00:59:38,597 --> 00:59:42,965 That's right! Saul Hodgkin dead! Good heavens! 886 00:59:42,964 --> 00:59:45,185 His troubles are over. 887 00:59:46,058 --> 00:59:48,498 I've locked the door. 888 00:59:55,535 --> 00:59:58,734 Is this a joke? Because if so, it doesn't amuse me! 889 00:59:58,734 --> 01:00:01,824 Of course not! We put him on there, ourselves! 890 01:00:01,824 --> 01:00:03,314 Well, where is he now? I don't know. 891 01:00:03,315 --> 01:00:05,340 We were all in the other room, so he can't have gone out! 892 01:00:05,340 --> 01:00:06,783 Apart from being dead! 893 01:00:07,774 --> 01:00:10,560 Stop! He can't have... 894 01:00:10,560 --> 01:00:13,011 When is all this supposed to have happened? 895 01:00:13,012 --> 01:00:16,741 Well it happened all right! We all saw it! That's right. 896 01:00:16,740 --> 01:00:18,338 Yes, you ask this gentleman. He's a doctor. 897 01:00:18,339 --> 01:00:19,937 He should know a dead body when he sees one. 898 01:00:19,937 --> 01:00:24,092 Yes, ah... I rather think I should, eh? 899 01:00:24,092 --> 01:00:26,969 The man was certainly dead. Heart failure. 900 01:00:26,969 --> 01:00:30,273 In my opinion, the result of a shock. What happened exactly? 901 01:00:30,273 --> 01:00:31,870 Well, he left here to go home. 902 01:00:31,870 --> 01:00:34,321 And about 20 minutes later, we heard footsteps. 903 01:00:34,322 --> 01:00:36,665 When I opened the door, he fell forward into the room. 904 01:00:36,665 --> 01:00:39,862 Which door? That one. 905 01:00:39,862 --> 01:00:44,337 I knew it! Don't you see? 906 01:00:44,336 --> 01:00:46,147 It wasn't Saul Hodgkin at all! 907 01:00:46,148 --> 01:00:50,091 It was Ted Holmes, coming back from the dead! 908 01:00:50,090 --> 01:00:51,581 What did he look like? 909 01:00:51,582 --> 01:00:54,032 You mean his face? Yes yes! 910 01:00:54,032 --> 01:00:57,762 Well, ah, have you ever seen a bad nut? Eaten lots of them. 911 01:00:57,762 --> 01:01:00,851 He was a tall, gaunt sort of fellow. Are you sure of that? 912 01:01:00,851 --> 01:01:06,606 Of course! It wasn't the stationmaster. It was Ted Holmes! 913 01:01:06,605 --> 01:01:08,096 Come now, Julia! 914 01:01:08,096 --> 01:01:10,333 You're upsetting everybody. It must have been Hodgkin. 915 01:01:10,334 --> 01:01:13,638 Then where is he? A man couldn't vanish into thin air! 916 01:01:13,638 --> 01:01:18,113 And the time when all this happened, it was eleven o'clock, wasn't it? 917 01:01:18,112 --> 01:01:20,350 Wasn't it? Sharp! 918 01:01:20,350 --> 01:01:25,251 That proves it! We've got to get her away from here. 919 01:01:25,251 --> 01:01:29,407 No! I'm staying. I'm staying here till it comes. 920 01:01:29,406 --> 01:01:32,922 You know it will come. You say I imagine it. 921 01:01:32,922 --> 01:01:34,946 But you only want to put me away, like you did before! 922 01:01:34,947 --> 01:01:37,611 No, I'm not leaving. I'm going to see it! 923 01:01:37,611 --> 01:01:40,594 I must see it, even if it kills me! That's enough, Julia. 924 01:01:40,594 --> 01:01:41,765 Don't touch me! Julia! 925 01:01:41,765 --> 01:01:46,774 If you don't mind, if she were a patient of mine, I'd let her stay. 926 01:01:46,774 --> 01:01:47,946 You don't understand. 927 01:01:47,946 --> 01:01:50,396 Quite likely. They do say I'm old-fashioned. 928 01:01:50,397 --> 01:01:54,126 But if she stays, and the train doesn't come, and it won't, 929 01:01:54,125 --> 01:01:58,814 she will realize then that it is only a delusion. Surely that's only common sense, eh? 930 01:01:58,814 --> 01:02:03,182 All right. Don't think I'm gonna be any party to this tomfoolery. 931 01:02:03,181 --> 01:02:05,958 As soon as I can find another car, you're coming back with me! 932 01:02:07,224 --> 01:02:10,002 Mr. Macintosh, if we shouldn't be here when you get back, 933 01:02:10,002 --> 01:02:15,241 will you see the papers spell my name right? It is G-A-N-D... 934 01:02:17,353 --> 01:02:21,402 He's gone. Yes, you'll be all right now. 935 01:02:21,401 --> 01:02:23,212 As soon as the rain stops, we can all go. 936 01:02:23,213 --> 01:02:27,689 No! I'm staying here! Of course, just as you like. 937 01:02:27,688 --> 01:02:34,508 Like? This isn't about like. It's because I can't help myself. 938 01:02:34,507 --> 01:02:41,114 This place terrifies me. It fascinates me too. 939 01:02:41,113 --> 01:02:44,097 It's full of eyes. 940 01:02:44,097 --> 01:02:50,278 They stare! And stare! Don't look at me like that! 941 01:02:50,277 --> 01:02:52,940 You think I'm mad! But I'm not mad! 942 01:02:52,940 --> 01:02:57,842 Oh now - I - I I - ah - there you go. 943 01:02:57,841 --> 01:03:03,489 You see, I know what's going to happen. And it's going to happen soon. 944 01:03:03,489 --> 01:03:06,686 The scream of brakes! The shriek of the whistle! 945 01:03:06,686 --> 01:03:13,186 Louder! Louder! Why don't you all go now and leave me before it's too late! 946 01:03:13,184 --> 01:03:15,741 When the train comes... A train won't come. 947 01:03:15,742 --> 01:03:16,913 It came that night! 948 01:03:16,913 --> 01:03:20,749 I saw it thundering down the valley... On! On! Into the river... 949 01:03:20,749 --> 01:03:25,651 Then I saw Ben Issacs, the driver, coming back out of the tunnel! 950 01:03:25,650 --> 01:03:27,495 But weren't they all killed? 951 01:03:27,496 --> 01:03:30,552 All except Ben Isaacs. He was thrown clear. 952 01:03:30,552 --> 01:03:37,052 He came back to the station singing... Singing Rock of Ages. 953 01:03:37,051 --> 01:03:40,606 His mind gone! 954 01:03:41,738 --> 01:03:49,412 They say that before the ghost train runs, you hear the bell ringing... dismally. 955 01:03:49,411 --> 01:03:53,247 It will be here soon! I know it! 956 01:03:53,246 --> 01:03:59,534 Look! Don't you see? There! Look! 957 01:03:59,533 --> 01:04:03,901 It's Ted Holmes again, coming out of the office! 958 01:04:03,901 --> 01:04:12,108 Don't you see? Yes, yes of course. 959 01:04:12,106 --> 01:04:15,994 But, uh, don't you think it would be better if we all... 960 01:04:21,651 --> 01:04:24,363 He's crossing towards the door! 961 01:04:26,169 --> 01:04:29,946 Look! He's opening the door! 962 01:04:39,189 --> 01:04:41,299 It's all right. It's only the wind. 963 01:04:41,300 --> 01:04:46,628 I've got an aunt who suffers with that. Her doors are always blowing open. 964 01:04:46,627 --> 01:04:48,226 Now aren't you sorry? 965 01:04:48,226 --> 01:04:51,741 I think this room is worrying you. Let's go to the refreshment room and... 966 01:04:51,741 --> 01:04:56,004 If you open the door now, you'll find he's still there! 967 01:04:56,004 --> 01:04:59,413 We'll soon see! No, wait! 968 01:04:59,413 --> 01:05:04,315 Now listen to me, my dear. There's nothing to worry about. 969 01:05:04,314 --> 01:05:10,202 Come over by the fire Come along. ... There. 970 01:05:16,005 --> 01:05:19,763 Now listen. I've got a nasty feeling we haven't got over the worst of this yet. 971 01:05:19,763 --> 01:05:23,599 I want you to promise that if anything unpleasant happens you'll be guided by me. 972 01:05:23,599 --> 01:05:24,932 All right. 973 01:05:25,623 --> 01:05:29,178 Look! The light's going out! 974 01:05:34,513 --> 01:05:37,238 Why don't you go? There's still time! 975 01:05:37,238 --> 01:05:39,475 We can't go! Then stop your ears! 976 01:05:39,475 --> 01:05:43,630 For God's sake, don't look! Remember what happened to me. 977 01:05:43,630 --> 01:05:45,740 You must be warned! You must! 978 01:05:48,211 --> 01:05:55,246 Listen! A signal bell! Now will you believe me? 979 01:05:55,244 --> 01:05:59,400 Nonsense! That doesn't prove anything. But the bell... It always rings! 980 01:05:59,400 --> 01:06:02,065 Now look here! This is absurd! 981 01:06:04,631 --> 01:06:07,177 What was that? What? 982 01:06:07,177 --> 01:06:13,998 I thought I heard a train whistle. It's coming! It's coming! 983 01:06:13,997 --> 01:06:17,299 She's right! It is a train! 984 01:06:17,299 --> 01:06:22,308 Thundering down the valley! It's coming! It's coming! 985 01:06:22,307 --> 01:06:25,929 On! On! I'm going to look! 986 01:06:25,929 --> 01:06:27,484 No! 987 01:06:30,085 --> 01:06:31,863 It won't open! 988 01:06:38,177 --> 01:06:40,293 We're shut in. 989 01:06:40,420 --> 01:06:43,617 Listen! Listen to it! 990 01:06:43,617 --> 01:06:47,616 I've got to see it! I must see it! 991 01:07:10,892 --> 01:07:13,131 Is she... Is she dead? 992 01:07:13,132 --> 01:07:16,861 No no. Her pulse is weak, but steady enough. 993 01:07:16,861 --> 01:07:18,885 Would you get me some water, please? 994 01:07:18,885 --> 01:07:20,163 Yes, of course. Wait a minute. 995 01:07:20,163 --> 01:07:22,827 There's no more water in there. I'll get some from outside. 996 01:07:22,828 --> 01:07:24,745 You show me where it is. 997 01:07:24,745 --> 01:07:28,048 Oh, I just remembered! The ghost train had all its light on. 998 01:07:28,048 --> 01:07:28,474 Well shat about it? 999 01:07:28,475 --> 01:07:30,499 Well they'll get pinched! It's after blackout time. 1000 01:07:30,499 --> 01:07:32,629 Don't be silly. All that was 43 years ago. 1001 01:07:32,629 --> 01:07:35,399 There was no war on then. Yes there was. 1002 01:07:35,399 --> 01:07:37,210 There was the Boer War. 1003 01:07:37,211 --> 01:07:41,794 I can't stand any more of this. I've come to the end of me tether. 1004 01:07:41,793 --> 01:07:43,817 Where's the other stocking? 1005 01:07:43,818 --> 01:07:46,588 Now, I want you to go right back in there. 1006 01:07:46,588 --> 01:07:48,398 And whatever happens, don't let anyone leave. 1007 01:07:48,398 --> 01:07:50,742 Where are you going? To get some water. 1008 01:07:50,742 --> 01:07:53,406 We don't need any water. Well what about Fanny Fadeaway? 1009 01:07:53,407 --> 01:07:55,963 Yes, the doctor said... Please, we have no time to explain that now. 1010 01:07:55,963 --> 01:07:58,308 You said you'd trust me. Yes, I do. 1011 01:07:58,308 --> 01:07:59,692 But where will you be? 1012 01:07:59,692 --> 01:08:01,716 We're going outside to do a bit of snooping. 1013 01:08:01,717 --> 01:08:04,061 Snooping? That's an idea! 1014 01:08:04,061 --> 01:08:06,511 You'll be Charlie Chan. I'll be honorable son. 1015 01:08:06,511 --> 01:08:08,429 What if they ask me where you are? 1016 01:08:08,430 --> 01:08:13,225 Tell them unworthy servants take despicable glass to get unspeakable water. 1017 01:08:13,224 --> 01:08:15,675 Go on. Go back inside there. That's a good girl. 1018 01:08:15,675 --> 01:08:19,298 Go. Go. Go. She's gone. 1019 01:08:19,298 --> 01:08:21,641 Now where's this bridge wheel? What bridge wheel? 1020 01:08:21,641 --> 01:08:24,305 Oh, I don't know whether I'd bother about that. Remember what happened to Edward. 1021 01:08:24,305 --> 01:08:26,116 Edward? Edward Holmmmmes. 1022 01:08:26,117 --> 01:08:30,005 Oh, go on. Show me where it is. This way. 1023 01:08:30,590 --> 01:08:33,255 That's it over there. Looks like a washing up machine. 1024 01:08:33,255 --> 01:08:35,810 Oh, so this is the historic spot. 1025 01:08:37,483 --> 01:08:41,566 I say, it doesn't go smoke smoke - funny. I bet you can't say that quickly. 1026 01:08:41,566 --> 01:08:44,763 It doesn't go smoke smoke... Try that with me other teeth in. 1027 01:08:44,763 --> 01:08:47,533 Hello! It isn't there! What isn't? 1028 01:08:47,533 --> 01:08:50,516 The old man's lamp. I put it there when I came to get the water. 1029 01:08:50,516 --> 01:08:53,926 I say, didn't old Saul Hodgkin say this bridge was always open. 1030 01:08:53,926 --> 01:08:56,163 It ain't been closed these 43 years, it ain't. 1031 01:08:56,163 --> 01:08:58,827 It ain't, eh? Well, look at that - closed! 1032 01:08:58,827 --> 01:09:00,851 That's funny. It was open just now. 1033 01:09:00,851 --> 01:09:13,746 ♪ Rock of ages, cleft for me. Let me hide myself in thee. ♪ 1034 01:09:13,743 --> 01:09:24,854 ♪ Let the water and the blood... ♪ Ben Isaacs! He's coming back! 1035 01:09:26,529 --> 01:09:29,832 Oh, I warned you! I warned you! 1036 01:09:29,832 --> 01:09:42,941 ♪ Be of sin the double-cure. Cleanse me from its guilt and power. ♪ 1037 01:09:42,938 --> 01:09:46,347 There where shots! 1038 01:09:46,346 --> 01:09:49,457 Got him! Don't let him get away! 1039 01:10:12,875 --> 01:10:17,322 I can't see any ghosts. I probably run through it. 1040 01:10:22,075 --> 01:10:27,928 Teddy? Teddy? Teddy? Where are you? 1041 01:10:30,564 --> 01:10:35,147 John, take me away from here! I'll come with you now. 1042 01:10:35,146 --> 01:10:36,210 It's all right, Julia. 1043 01:10:36,211 --> 01:10:37,703 I've managed to get a bus. It's outside. 1044 01:10:37,704 --> 01:10:40,581 Oh, well played, sir! That's right. Come on, Edna. 1045 01:10:40,581 --> 01:10:43,032 So if you're ready, I suggest we don't waste any time. 1046 01:10:43,032 --> 01:10:44,842 We've been here too long as it is! 1047 01:10:44,842 --> 01:10:47,505 Yes, but some idiot's been fooling around with a gun outside. 1048 01:10:47,505 --> 01:10:49,636 What? Didn't you hear? 1049 01:10:49,637 --> 01:10:51,235 Yes. Just now. 1050 01:10:51,235 --> 01:10:55,924 But you can't leave here until... ...until the police arrive! 1051 01:10:55,924 --> 01:10:59,653 So you're the idiot with the gun! I might have known it! 1052 01:10:59,652 --> 01:11:02,955 What the blazes have you been shooting at? 1053 01:11:02,955 --> 01:11:06,684 A ghost. And no ordinary ghost either. 1054 01:11:06,684 --> 01:11:09,242 This one had a signature tune. 1055 01:11:09,242 --> 01:11:12,651 Oh, I'm sick of all this nonsense. Come on. Let's go. 1056 01:11:12,651 --> 01:11:16,167 Wait a minute! I'm afraid nobody goes! 1057 01:11:16,167 --> 01:11:18,388 Excuse me... 1058 01:11:19,450 --> 01:11:21,601 Now look here! Get back! 1059 01:11:21,601 --> 01:11:25,713 Go on! Sit down. 1060 01:11:26,503 --> 01:11:29,724 Have you gone mad? On the contrary! 1061 01:11:30,977 --> 01:11:34,310 I suppose everyone knows what this is... 1062 01:11:36,908 --> 01:11:41,206 Believe it or not, the blood of Ben Isaacs. I've winged a ghost! 1063 01:11:41,206 --> 01:11:44,403 Oh rot! If you don't open these doors... 1064 01:11:44,403 --> 01:11:48,772 Mr. Winthrop, wouldn't be any reason why you'd want us all away from here, would there? 1065 01:11:48,771 --> 01:11:54,099 And what the devil do you mean by that? Yes! I like to know that, too! 1066 01:11:54,099 --> 01:11:55,696 Perhaps I should explain that... 1067 01:11:55,696 --> 01:11:59,362 the person responsible for the ghost train is with us in this room now! 1068 01:12:02,090 --> 01:12:04,647 The ghost train? Yes. 1069 01:12:04,647 --> 01:12:06,031 Only it isn't a ghost train. 1070 01:12:06,032 --> 01:12:09,476 This one happens to be as real as the Plymouth Express. 1071 01:12:11,253 --> 01:12:15,089 But, uh, there was an accident, you know. 1072 01:12:15,089 --> 01:12:18,711 Perfectly true! There's a strong local superstition about the ghost train. 1073 01:12:18,711 --> 01:12:22,441 That's what gave somebody in this room the idea. 1074 01:12:22,440 --> 01:12:26,489 Made their job easier, because for years, people have stuck their heads 1075 01:12:26,489 --> 01:12:28,940 under their bedclothes if they heard a train in the night! 1076 01:12:28,940 --> 01:12:31,710 But when we turned up, we made it rather awkward for them. 1077 01:12:31,710 --> 01:12:33,882 So when the stationmaster couldn't get rid of us, 1078 01:12:33,883 --> 01:12:36,292 they set to work, scaring us out! 1079 01:12:36,292 --> 01:12:41,833 But they didn't, did they? Uh, no. Bless my soul. 1080 01:12:41,832 --> 01:12:46,627 Don't look at me like that. I don't know anything about it! 1081 01:12:46,626 --> 01:12:50,995 I assure you. I'm going to Red Roofs as Dr. Hariby's locum. Eh? 1082 01:12:50,995 --> 01:12:55,578 Just a moment. I don't pretend to understand all this. 1083 01:12:55,577 --> 01:12:59,306 But you and your silly little friend have been behaving rather queerly yourselves. 1084 01:12:59,306 --> 01:13:03,355 Exactly what game are you playing at? Richard, I just remembered. 1085 01:13:03,355 --> 01:13:07,617 If it hadn't been for Mr. Gander, you wouldn't be here at all. 1086 01:13:07,616 --> 01:13:11,239 Jackie! I say there! Well! Oh! 1087 01:13:11,239 --> 01:13:14,435 Richard! Did you have to do that? Of course! The man's undoable. 1088 01:13:14,435 --> 01:13:17,312 Might have shot someone at any moment! Oh, here's the key. 1089 01:13:17,312 --> 01:13:21,256 Now we can get out of here. But you can't leave him here like this! 1090 01:13:21,256 --> 01:13:22,640 Don't worry. We're going to take him with us. 1091 01:13:22,641 --> 01:13:24,771 Yes, a little fresh air will soon bring him around. 1092 01:13:24,771 --> 01:13:26,156 Will you two bring him to the bus? 1093 01:13:26,156 --> 01:13:28,606 Yes, definitely. Right. 1094 01:13:28,607 --> 01:13:31,606 Go on, Herbert. You help. What? Me? 1095 01:13:35,319 --> 01:13:37,876 Your bag, Doctor. Oh, yes. I'll come back for them. 1096 01:13:37,877 --> 01:13:40,654 Uh, be careful. Steady. 1097 01:13:45,749 --> 01:13:48,638 Oh, thank heaven we can get out of here. I'm sick of this hole. 1098 01:13:48,638 --> 01:13:53,082 Yeah, I don't want to complain, but I do hope this will be all for tonight. 1099 01:13:56,369 --> 01:14:01,194 He'll be all right in here. Leave him there. 1100 01:14:08,573 --> 01:14:14,339 All right, driver. Hey! Hey! Wait a minute! 1101 01:14:17,086 --> 01:14:19,324 I nearly missed the bus. That's right. 1102 01:14:19,324 --> 01:14:21,775 Where the blazes have you been? Trying to get out of the tunnel. 1103 01:14:21,775 --> 01:14:23,052 I couldn't find the hole. 1104 01:14:23,053 --> 01:14:25,397 All right now, sir? Yes, but step on it, will you? 1105 01:14:25,397 --> 01:14:27,954 Wait a minute. My basket's still in the station. 1106 01:14:27,954 --> 01:14:29,552 We'll attend to that in the morning. 1107 01:14:29,553 --> 01:14:32,109 Yes, but say it disappears. I won't be able to open on Monday! 1108 01:14:32,109 --> 01:14:33,920 That will be a break for Newquay! 1109 01:14:33,920 --> 01:14:35,944 Well, we're off. 1110 01:14:35,945 --> 01:14:39,356 Yes. What a bit of luck finding a bus, eh? 1111 01:14:39,355 --> 01:14:44,043 Oh, look at Teddy! Shh! He's gone to sleep. 1112 01:14:44,043 --> 01:14:46,601 Yes, I put him to sleep. Yes. 1113 01:14:46,601 --> 01:14:50,863 Hey, you mean you... ah... on the floor? 1114 01:14:50,863 --> 01:14:54,699 Yes, and if we have any trouble from you, you're just as likely to join him! 1115 01:14:54,698 --> 01:14:58,808 Don't let's have any more unpleasantness. No. 1116 01:15:02,903 --> 01:15:05,140 Anybody got any smelling salts? 1117 01:15:05,140 --> 01:15:08,763 You haven't got a drop of that... huh huh... no no. 1118 01:15:08,763 --> 01:15:10,360 Come on. Come to Daddy. 1119 01:15:10,360 --> 01:15:13,343 Oh, I wish I'd paid attention at the first aid class. 1120 01:15:13,343 --> 01:15:14,835 Don't worry. He'll be all right. 1121 01:15:14,836 --> 01:15:16,860 Just a moment. I want to ask you a question. 1122 01:15:16,860 --> 01:15:19,630 Where exactly did you go when you left the waiting room? 1123 01:15:19,630 --> 01:15:21,122 Who me? Outside. 1124 01:15:21,123 --> 01:15:23,253 Don't you remember when the spook special came along? 1125 01:15:23,253 --> 01:15:24,531 Yes, I remember perfectly. 1126 01:15:24,532 --> 01:15:28,261 But it's very curious that when you and your friend went out, things began to happen. 1127 01:15:28,260 --> 01:15:30,391 Oh, you mean old Rock of Ages! 1128 01:15:30,392 --> 01:15:34,548 It was Ben Isaacs. He was coming back. I knew he would. 1129 01:15:34,547 --> 01:15:35,931 Now Julia. 1130 01:15:35,932 --> 01:15:38,596 Something... What hit me? 1131 01:15:38,596 --> 01:15:41,579 I'm afraid I did. I'm very sorry, but it was entirely necessary. 1132 01:15:41,579 --> 01:15:45,522 What do you... Where are we? Why you... 1133 01:15:45,522 --> 01:15:47,973 Now! Now! Now! Now, pal. Count up to ten. 1134 01:15:47,973 --> 01:15:49,890 1 - 2 - 3 ... You blithering idiot! 1135 01:15:49,890 --> 01:15:52,873 Where did you get to? Oh, I walked into the tunnel wall. 1136 01:15:52,873 --> 01:15:57,775 I blacked myself out in the knockout. I mean, I knocked myself out in the blackout. 1137 01:15:57,775 --> 01:16:00,971 Well, I think we can say we successfully stopped your little game, whatever it was. 1138 01:16:00,971 --> 01:16:02,569 You've successfully mucked up the whole show! 1139 01:16:02,569 --> 01:16:04,593 Now there's no one to get that train when it comes back comes back! 1140 01:16:04,593 --> 01:16:06,259 Comes back? 1141 01:16:06,511 --> 01:16:09,069 The ghost train never comes back. 1142 01:16:09,069 --> 01:16:12,372 This one's more obliging. It makes the return journey. 1143 01:16:12,372 --> 01:16:16,101 But if the train does come back, It'll have to cross the bridge, won't it? 1144 01:16:16,101 --> 01:16:18,019 Of course. But if it's a ghost train, 1145 01:16:18,019 --> 01:16:20,469 it wouldn't matter whether the bridge was open or closed, would it? 1146 01:16:20,469 --> 01:16:22,280 No, but... Oh, well, that's all right. 1147 01:16:22,281 --> 01:16:23,985 What are you babbling about? 1148 01:16:23,985 --> 01:16:26,436 Well, we'll soon see. I opened the bridge! 1149 01:16:26,436 --> 01:16:28,779 You've done what? 1150 01:16:28,780 --> 01:16:31,338 Well, somebody had closed it, so I opened it! 1151 01:16:31,338 --> 01:16:32,935 Otherwise the story would be right. 1152 01:16:32,935 --> 01:16:35,046 You meddling fool! 1153 01:16:36,024 --> 01:16:37,913 Nichols! Stop! 1154 01:16:39,648 --> 01:16:42,524 I say, what is this? Sit down! 1155 01:16:42,524 --> 01:16:44,656 I'll do nothing of the sort! I rather think you will! 1156 01:16:44,656 --> 01:16:49,770 What are you doing? You can't... Keep still, unless you're looking for trouble. 1157 01:16:49,770 --> 01:16:52,114 He's opened the bridge! Back to the station, black out! 1158 01:16:52,114 --> 01:16:54,991 It's too late, sir. We passed Crawford's crossroads a mile back! 1159 01:16:54,991 --> 01:16:57,548 If we get across the footbridge, you can stop them on the other side. 1160 01:16:57,548 --> 01:16:59,785 Yes! Back down the lane! As fast as you can! 1161 01:16:59,785 --> 01:17:00,896 All right. 1162 01:17:33,986 --> 01:17:37,930 That's the lot. We're not late, are we? 1163 01:17:37,930 --> 01:17:40,929 The ghost train's never late! 1164 01:18:04,920 --> 01:18:07,124 Can't you go any faster? 1165 01:18:07,124 --> 01:18:09,255 If it goes any faster, we'll take off! 1166 01:18:09,256 --> 01:18:10,960 I hope you're enjoying all this! 1167 01:18:10,960 --> 01:18:12,878 If you hadn't been so anxious to show off your right hook, 1168 01:18:12,878 --> 01:18:14,155 we wouldn't be in this mess! 1169 01:18:14,156 --> 01:18:15,967 But what's happening? I don't understand! 1170 01:18:15,967 --> 01:18:17,991 You ever heard of the fifth column? What? 1171 01:18:17,992 --> 01:18:20,975 The chap with the gun is a Nazi sympathizer. 1172 01:18:20,975 --> 01:18:22,574 The more they pay him, the more he sympathizes! 1173 01:18:22,574 --> 01:18:23,638 Cut that out! 1174 01:18:23,639 --> 01:18:25,983 But smuggling arms is a dangerous game in war times. 1175 01:18:25,983 --> 01:18:27,687 So they invented the ghost train. 1176 01:18:27,688 --> 01:18:30,020 The train! I can see it! 1177 01:18:32,008 --> 01:18:34,400 It's on the last curve before the bridge! 1178 01:18:34,400 --> 01:18:37,064 We'll never stop it! We've got to stop it! 1179 01:18:37,064 --> 01:18:41,174 Take a pull up here. I'm cutting down the hill. Stop! 1180 01:18:43,165 --> 01:18:46,356 Watch them! Ohh... 1181 01:18:47,399 --> 01:18:50,176 Come on! Make whole! 1182 01:19:06,414 --> 01:19:08,709 Oh, by the way, you took a gun from him. 1183 01:19:08,709 --> 01:19:11,375 Hand it over. Come on! 1184 01:19:14,994 --> 01:19:18,772 [honks horn] What? 1185 01:19:19,896 --> 01:19:21,896 Come on! 1186 01:19:29,485 --> 01:19:33,040 The bridge! It's open! 1187 01:19:47,180 --> 01:19:49,409 Of course, after Julia had fainted, 1188 01:19:49,410 --> 01:19:51,542 I knew that Sterling was no more a doctor than I was! 1189 01:19:51,542 --> 01:19:53,779 How? I saw him taking your pulse with his thumb. 1190 01:19:53,779 --> 01:19:56,442 You did! You knew nothing about it until I told you! 1191 01:19:56,442 --> 01:19:58,466 Well after all, I did open the bridge 1192 01:19:58,467 --> 01:20:00,490 while you were lying there like a British heavyweight! 1193 01:20:00,490 --> 01:20:01,556 Oh, there you are, sir. 1194 01:20:01,557 --> 01:20:04,647 I take it we can get you at this address for the inquest. 1195 01:20:04,647 --> 01:20:06,671 Correct, Capitan. Thank you then. 1196 01:20:06,671 --> 01:20:08,909 Thank you, sir. ...Thank you, sir. 1197 01:20:08,909 --> 01:20:10,933 Well that'll be your special service, due any minute. 1198 01:20:10,934 --> 01:20:11,933 Thank you very much. 1199 01:20:14,129 --> 01:20:17,859 Do you know, I have an idea you're by no means what you make out to be. 1200 01:20:17,858 --> 01:20:20,629 Confidentially, I'm not! You must be relieved. 1201 01:20:20,629 --> 01:20:22,013 Ah, there you are. 1202 01:20:22,014 --> 01:20:25,424 I'm afraid, old boy, I've been a bit of a... 1203 01:20:25,424 --> 01:20:27,981 A bit of a... ? I think you've been a lot of a... ! 1204 01:20:27,981 --> 01:20:30,431 Well anyway, if you'll accept my apologies. Of course. 1205 01:20:30,431 --> 01:20:33,875 And you, Gander. And you, Winthrop. 1206 01:20:36,611 --> 01:20:41,721 Ah! Knobs! We've forgotten about the old bird with her old bird! 1207 01:20:47,967 --> 01:20:53,234 Ohh.... Feel better? I've got a terrible headache. 1208 01:20:53,233 --> 01:20:55,790 Don't tell me. You've got a piece of flannel where your tongue should be. 1209 01:20:55,790 --> 01:20:56,962 How did you know? 1210 01:20:56,963 --> 01:21:00,158 Never mind. The train's in now. You'll soon be safe in Truro. 1211 01:21:00,158 --> 01:21:04,741 Good. I'm so glad nothing exciting has happened. 1212 01:21:04,740 --> 01:21:10,739 Nothing exciting! There you go...